OUCH!!!

Miami Vice opened at #1 this weekend but even first place doesn't necessarily mean a hit. The movie cost 135 million and it only made $25.2 million. That pushed Pirate's off of the top spot for the first time since it opened 4 weeks ago. Pirate's made 20 million this weekend making its total $358.4 million. Once it hits $370 million, and it will, it will become the #10 movie grosser of all time pushing "The Passion of the Christ" to # 11. YAY!!!

In my opinion none of what I just said is the "Ouch" I am refering too. The "ouch" is the fact that "John Tucker Must Die" opened strong at # 3 with $14.1 million. The movie only cost $18 million so this will be considered a box office success unless nobosy see's this movie from this point forward. You know people protested outside the theaters when Dogma opened, maybe we should all ban together and protest outside of the theaters showing this oscar worthy documetary.

Again America went and saw the movie with this quote in it

By: Jeans Pants | Monday, July 31, 2006 at 12:24 AM | |

Is it Ok To Hate a Movie If....

So I was at the new Healthy All Organic Burger King tonight. Have you tried it yet? No? Yeah that's because it doesn't exist.

So I was at Burger King tonight and playing on the radio was the song "Accidentally In Love" by The Counting Crows from Shrek 2. It got me thinking. I remember going to see Shrek and loving it. I bought it on DVD the day it came out.

I reeieved one of those early free screening passes to go see part 2 a few nights before it came out and I remember liking it but also being disapointed. I just thought the movie could have been better. Then I read that the 3 main actors, Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz and Eddie Murphy all got 2o million dollars each to do the voices for Shrek 2. Supposedly they did one of those things where "if you don't pay the amount requested I walk" type of deals. Also after the huge opening of part 2 they signed another contract stating that they would get 20 million dollars for the next two Shreks. That's 40 million each to come in and do some voices.

Now ever since finding this out I haven't really looked at Shrek the same way. I know it sounds cheesy but every time I watch Shrek 2, the movie that brought me a good time and some laughs, I start to get a little angry. I hate thinking that 60 million dollars was payed and none of it was for any computer genterated images.

This may seem like a silly post, but it was on my mind since eating my all organic Whopper from Burger King. I also want to know , not including Austen Powers, what hits have these actors made to make them worth 20 million each? Maybe Craig T Nelson and Holly Hunter should demand 20 million to revive their roles as the Incredibles and since Tom Hanks is the biggest name of all the ones I listed, he should get 50 million to play Woody again. Well I hope they get their well deserved voice money. Eddie Murphy did. You all know who he is. the leading man behind such hits as "The Haunted Mansion", "Daddy Day Care", "The Adventures of Pluto Nash", I Spy and Showtime.

By: Jeans Pants | Sunday, July 30, 2006 at 9:53 PM | |

What's Next Life? Bring It On? .....or don't. preferably don't. Ok in fact if you would stop, I would greatly appreicate it.

These last few posts were filled with so much anger. I apologize to everyone who reads my blogs and are tired of hearing me whine. I got a call from my Mom while I was at work yesterday. When my Mom calls me that means theres bad news. I returned her call yesterday and she told me that my grandmother, who hasn't been very well recently, was taken to a local hospital. Local being in Lowell Massachusetts. They transferred her to a hospital in Boston. My mom, who wasn't making much sense, told me she needed her heart shocked to keep her alive. I guess she can still talk and do things she's just very weak. So my mom gave me her number to call her. I called her yesterday but I didn't get an answer.

Today I went to work and the day for no reason was slower than most days. The customers weren't that bad, my fellow employees were in good moods, my bosses weren't nagging. There was nothing wrong about today. The day just kept feeling longer and longer. It was hard to get through.

I needed to call my gradnmother before 9:00 her time which is 6:00 my time. So I called her while I was at work at 5:00 my time. I'm glad I did because she loved hearing from me but it was one of the saddest experiences I'd ever had. I felt sick. I'm so far away and so poor that I feel there's nothing I can do. I'm pretty scared. If anything I should see her while she's still alive. I'm rambling I'm sorry. Point is I hated my last 2 hours of work. I just wanted to leave but because I also want a promotion I need to do everything I can to show them I can leave home problems at the door when I arrive.

When I came home Mollye was pretty upset. Not mad upset but sad upset. We've been in debt for a while just from school bills and credit cards we used to live off of when life got really hard for us and 2 car bills. I won't go into it but it's just tough times right now for us.

I have a headache and right now the computer is looking pretty blurry so Im going to go. I don't have a big finale so just use your imgination and imagine me winning the lottery and because I'm a good friend, I help all of you out of debt. I say "all of you" because only 10 people visit my blog, how much could it cost?

By: Jeans Pants | Saturday, July 29, 2006 at 7:41 PM | |

It's 9:00 in the Morning You Asshole!!!

I can't belive how much bass is being pumped through the walls of my apartment right now. It's 9 AM. What kind of selfish Fuck wakes up this early and thinks "oh let me ruin everyones Saturday and play my loud shitty music with Bass in it for all to hear". I have no idea if it's coming from my actual apartment or a car. I'm pretty sure it's from my apartment. What pisses me off mostly is that this is Mollye's day to sleep in. If I'm lucky she's still asleep in the bedroom but I can't be too sure about that. I need to be even extra quiet getting ready. I'm worried that if I wake her up she'll stay up. I don't think anyone would be able to get back to sleep with this shit playing.

To the person playing this obnoxious bass....I hope you choke on a Big Mac you waste of life.

By: Jeans Pants | at 9:26 AM | |

To All My Fellow Batman Fans Out There

I just thougth I'd share with you who is playing The Joker in the next Batman film. Drum roll please. The man playing The Joker is..............Heath Ledger.

Interesting choice if you ask me. It was officially proven in Brokeback Mountain that he's a good actor but honestly, it's his perfomance in Lord of Dogtown that gives me faith in believing he's the right choice.

Now as Long as the sights I read on a daily basis are true then all thats needed to do now is cast Harvey Dent AKA Two-Face. There are tons of rumours as to who they have in mind for the part. My two favorites are Liev Schreiber and Hugh Jackman.

Christopher Nolan, the director in charge who also directed Batman Begins and Memento, hasn't started filming because he instead directed a fim that will be out soon called "The Prestige". It stars Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale and Michael Caine. So their is hope that Hugh Jackman might get offered the role. It would make Justin Happy.

I'm ending this quick because I need to post something different that is getting on my nerves.

By: Jeans Pants | at 9:13 AM | |

Please Don't Make Money, Please Don't Make Money

Last year I thought there was no way the movie "Stealth" would bomb at the box office. It looked like one of those movies that was going to make money even though anyone with the IQ of 1 could tell by the trailer that the movie flat out sucks. To my surprise the movie didn't make money and I'm hoping the same will happen to a movie that opens this weekend.

I went to see 'My Super Ex-Girlfriend" this weekend and one of the trailers before the movie was for "John Tucker Must Die!!!". A movie whose trailer I had seen too many times already only this time was followed by applause by young teeny bopper girls. It actually kind of scared me. Could this movie make a lot of money? How does this movie look good to anyone? Oh and Ladies, the trailer leads me to assume that a lot of woman learn to french kiss from the girlfriends. If this is true please hollah back. I find that seen in the trailer so un-real it's insulting. So if I'm wrong let me know.

I'm hoping the "Stealth" disease will spread to "John Tucker Must Die!!!". I will be pleasantly impressed with our society if Monday rolls around and I find out it made little to nothing. But then again how can I deny a movie with dialogue like...

By: Jeans Pants | Thursday, July 27, 2006 at 11:27 PM | |

"Life is a Laughfest" A Review By Justin Colbert

Have you seen this film? I swa the trailers for this movie 8 years ago and it came off as such a cheerful, laugh out loud(or LOL for those ultra hip internet junkies out there) , family film this looked like. I finally got a chance to sit down and watch this film recently and I just want to say that trailers did this film justice. I never had a better learning experience then the one I had watching this film. All rumours stories that the concentration camps were horrible and people were treated poorly can now be put put to rest because this movie shows how much fun death camps actually are.

Take this for example. Did you know that there's a game that's played and the winner gets a tank? Jesus I want a tank. I didn't quite get how the game was played. The over hyper, kind of crazy main character didn't quite give the game justice by explaining it. But it involves you hideing underneath beds and keeping quiet a lot. Hell I can do that. Sign me Up!!!

If your lucky while staying at these supposed holocausts you'll get a puzzle happy Nazi who will give you all kinds of different riddles that you have to solve yourself. If you think you could get bored there than think again.

This Roberto Linguini guy did an amazing job. Every time I thought he was going to get in trouble for sneaking around the grounds he would get caught, then he would start walking like he's some sort of puppeteer and then you realize, "Oh good another game".

I guess what I'm about to mention is going to be a spoiler. I'm not sure how comedies that are in the same category as The Naked Gun's or a Wayans Brother's movie could even have spoilers but whatever. So for your warning "Spoiler alert". Here's what I don't get. At the end of the movie Roberto told his son to hide in a locker located on the side of the road. A soldier captures Roberto and he plays the walk like a puppet game again. Then they go behind an alley and let off a couple quick fireworks. They do this without the kid. I would have thought the kid would have enjoyed a fireworks show but I guess it was for grown ups only I don't really know. Then the father never shows up again. He just leaves the kid stranded there. Luckily The kids tank arrived and he left with a soldier. Good!!! Leave that father behind. If the father wanted to hog the fireworks all to himself then the kid should get the tank all too himself. Fair is fair.

So go out, rent this comedy and wait for the laughs because once they start, you'll be grabbing your sides for the rest of the night.

By: Jeans Pants | at 9:26 PM | |

How Did This Happen?

Update on fatty me. I haven't ran in about 2 weeks. I've cut back my soda drinking about 70%. I have been eating a decent amount of junk food and restaurant food and I still somehow lost 5 pounds. Wow ummmmmm, Go me?

By: Jeans Pants | Wednesday, July 26, 2006 at 11:14 PM | |

Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear After SEX

I thought of this topic a while ago. I think myspace has one currently floating around somewhere. But heres my version. In no order

By: Jeans Pants | Tuesday, July 25, 2006 at 11:28 PM | |

My Bank Sucks

My job sucks, my neighborhood sucks and now my bank sucks. I've had a checking account with Bank of America for about 5 years. It's a Florida checking account which means I havent been able to do checking deposits through ATM's since I've moved to California which was January of 2005. Mollye and I finally opened a California account 3 weeks ago. We went in, sat there, got our picture taken to be put in the cards and entered our pin numbers and then waitied a week for our cards to arrive by mail.

The cards arrive. Mollyes card works fine but my card on the other hand, says invalid pin every time I try to make a debit transaction or try and take money out. I made a call to Bank of America and they confirmed that the pin # I was using wasn't the pin number they had in their system. They told me I had to go into the Bank the next day to get this fixed. In the mean time my card still worked as a credit.

I didn't go in the very next day because I was working. The card was working fine as a credit until one purchase rang in as invalid card. That means the next day I had to make time to go to the bank no matter what.

The next day I go in. They swipe my card, tell me theres been a block put on my card, they had me enter a new pin # and then had me test the card through the debit machine. It didn't work. They swipe my card into the computer again and notice that for some reason a block was put back on my card in the matter of seconds. Now these steps repeat themselves 5 more times. They finally decided that my card just must be faulty and there going to send me a new card. It will take another week.

A week goes by. I go shopping. The past events re-occur, but of course it worked as a credit. So I got one credit transaction through at Traders Joes and then of course, they put a block on my card again. I called Bank of America. It wasnt easy to get to a real person. I had to click the "has your card been stolen" option to get someone to talk to me. They asked me 3 security questions.

1. Mothers maiden name?
I got that one right

2. Where did I open the account?
Supposedly I got that one wrong

4. When was my last ATM transaction?
I never had one because my card has yet to work

Bank of America

"I'm sorry but you answered the last two questions wrong and I am forced to hang up with you now"

Me
Excuse me? are you tell me I didn't open my account at (such and such place) and I have made an ATM transaction even though I can't because my card has yet to work?

Bank of America
Yes sir I am sorry for this inconvenience but I have to hang up now

Me
Wait, aren't you loss preventions? Shouldn’t you offer to help me if someone's using my card and its not me?

Bank of America
As I said sir I need to hang up. You should go into the bank tomorrow to get this settled

Fuck you Bank!!!. The next day I go on and just picture the exact same thing happening as before, only this time I'm there for an hour. It sucked. My card is blocked, they unblock it, they make me reset my pin, it doesn't reset, I get blocked again yadda yadda yadda. There awesome decision, to send me a new card because this one doesn't work. These are the same people that helped me before and they recognize me. I asked "how do we know this card will work?" and they responded with " oh because we reset the pin". Oh no kidding because that didnt work the last fucking time you tried it you fucking....OK I know it's not your fault. I'll calm myself. It's not your fault the job you work at is run by shit eating idiots". Ok I didn't say that last part. I wanted to though.

Not that it matters because I have little in my account but I told them if this happens again I will close my account with them. They were just optimistic that the new card will work. So here's what we'll do. I get my new card. I'll call everyone and get as many people together as possible. They witness me call it in and activate it. Then we'll witness me walk up to an ATM and try and take money out. If I can actually get money out then we'll celebrate somewhere. If I can't get money out, I'll need someone to buy me ice cream and hold my hand. I'm going to be real depressed. Oh and those people should get me away from that bank fast because I'll probably want to burst into the bank and start yelling. That wouldn't be a good thing. Fucking Bastards.

Why can't I get money out?

By: Jeans Pants | at 7:58 PM | |

I Watched Way Too Many Movies This Week

Let me start off with the movie Final Destination...SUCKED!!! My god how did this movie spawn 2 sequels? Oh yeah it's because people don't like to think when they go to the movies. They just want to spend there $10.00's, sit there and think there smart because they get a movie like this. The movie involves a kid that has a premonition that the plane he's going to board will crash. He freaks out when he gets on the plane and he and a few other students get thrown off. I don't want to tell you how the other students get thrown off, they just do. When the plane takes of it indeed explodes. You see they were supposed to die, and because they didn't it causes a ripple in Death's plan and now he's out to get them. Dun Dunn Dunnnnn. You know a movie is dumb when someone actually figures out that death is after them. Wait that's not the dumb part!!! The dumb part is the fact they think they can out smart death. Wait that's not the dumb part!!! The dumb part is there’s an old wise gravedigger who knows the answers to which they seek. "See you soon" he says to the kids after they pay him a visit. Uh what's worse then this movie? Oh I know...

Final Destination 2....This movie SUCKED!!! SUCKED ASS!!! So another kid has a premonition. Saves a group of people. Same Town by the way. Now Death is after them. How do they fight Death? Why they get the one survivor from the last movie to come on down and help them. The goal is to cheat death, more blood and gore yadda yadda yadda and BORE. Oh but that cool scary wise old gravedigger makes an appearance. Phew, we needed him to come back because he knows all. All I'm going to say is that I honestly can't wait for Final Destination 3 to come out on Tuesday. I'm hoping to watch it in a group because I believe there will be laughs galore. Mike if you're reading this you need to watch Final Destination, because part 2 will be mocked on Mockworthy.

I saw My Super Ex- Girlfriend Friday. It's hard for me to review this movie because I liked it, but I don't know if anyone else will. I feel the movie didn't know what it wanted to be. It's cuts from scene to scene felt like something out of "Something’s Gotta Give" or "As Good As It Gets". It's love story in the beginning was kind of Chick Flick and it also had Rain Wilson from "The Office" playing a chauvinistic pig telling jokes I know I loved but I don't know if the "Something’s Gotta Give" Crowd would enjoy. The movie took about a half hour to really get started and when it did I liked what I saw. It was those first 30 minutes that was giving me trouble. I couldn't figure out what the movie was doing and if I liked it.

Saturday I saw Clerks 2. This movie was incredible. It had my kind of raunchy jokes mixed with surprisingly convincing acting and decent drama. The first Clerks you could tell weren’t memorized. It felt as if the actors had the script lying in front of them and they were just reading. This movie was very professional in comparison. Not only professional but just flat out good. If you do like raunchy humor (or if you hang out with me and are able to withstand my sense of humor) then you'll love Clerks 2.

Last but not least, I saw "Stuart Saves His Family". It's based on the SNL short "Daily Affirmation with Stuart Smalley" created and played by Al Franken. It's a character I never really liked but I've only heard good things from this movie since it came out 10 years ago. So I finally broke down and rented it. It was one of the best movie decisions I've ever made. This movie was a comedy, but it also had drama and the drama was very real to life. I couldn't believe how well done this movie was executed. I would also like to say that Al Franken, who I've seen act in a TV show and it wasn't very good, is perfect in this movie. He played a very cute sad character that you only wanted to see happy but instead we saw him struggle to find happiness. I don't want to say too much because I think too much could give away what is the heart and soul of this movie. I was extremley surprised and happy with the feeling this movie left me. I will just say, Trust me, Rent this movie.

By: Jeans Pants | Sunday, July 23, 2006 at 12:50 AM | |

This is Awesome

I have this thing on my blog called "sitemeter". It allows me to see how many people visit my blog each day. It doesn't tell me who visits but it tells me what city there in and how long they visited and it tells me how they found my site. It will tell me if they googled the name justin adams or say if they visited my friends site caliblog first and clicked the link he has from his page to mine. Don't worry it doesnt tell me if you were checking your banking account or looking at porn, it just says if I was purposely searched for or clicked on from another site. Anyways I had a visit for 24 seconds from someone. Here's what they googled to find me

http://sg.search.yahoo.com/search?ei=UTF-8&fr=slv1-wave&p=natalie%20portman%20nude%20pussy%20photos

Interesting isn't it?

It made me laugh and considering he was only on my page for 24 seconds I don't think this person will be back. I don't think I lost a fan.

The person who did this search was probably my friend Pablo. OK I'm kidding.

By: Jeans Pants | Friday, July 21, 2006 at 10:20 AM | |

Unbelievable

By: Jeans Pants | Thursday, July 20, 2006 at 9:37 PM | |

"Good News from the Battlefront" by Justin Colbert

No I'm not refering to the war in Iraq. Im refering to the war that will stop baby killers all across America. The Senate tried to pass a bill that would further studies in stem cell research. It passed. But heres the great news, our lord and saviour President Bush vetoed the bill. Good things are going to come from this. My whinny," you don't love me anymore" mother who is dying from cancer has been given a few weeks to live. Without stem cell research she'll die. Thank you Mr Bush. Looking forward to the delicious food at the funeral.

For my wife who was diagnosed with Parkinsons disease, well it's been a tough time for her. How could I live with myself knowing my wife is normal only because we murdered babies to cure her. So in that case I'll just divorce her. Sure I love her but theres no way I'm going to take care of that my whole life.

This makes me proud of my commander and chief. I know that one day he'll be diagnosed with some sort of disease like Parkinsons, Cancer, Alzeimers and I can't wait to see the bravery in his face when he looks at the nation and you'll be able to tell by the look on his face that he's proud. He'll be proud that he's giving his life to save the millions of tiny embyros that are just sitting in a lab, and are probably going to be destroyed anyways but that's not the point. The point is, he's a hero.

Listen everyone diseases are our own responsiblility. Woman check those breasts, men check those sacks. I'm checking mine right now. You need to feel around down there to make sure that there aren't any....any....wait. What's this I found? What the hell is this? Is this a bruise? It doesn't hurt. Oh MY GOD NO!!! Oh FUCK!!!! NO!!!!! This can't be what it is!!! Oh SHIT NO!!! WHY GOD???? WHY, WHAT HAVE I DONE? I DON'T DESERVE CANCER. DAMN YOU MR BUSH, IM GOING TO DIE AND IT"S ALL YOUR FAULT FOR BANNING STEM CELL RESEARCH!!! AH IT SUCKS THAT IT'S OK TO BAN SOMETHING UNTIL IT CAN BENEFIT YOU...AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By: Jeans Pants | at 10:33 AM | |

Stem Cell This Motha Fucka

What can be fought but not always won? Cancer. What can be fought and never won? Two answers to that one, Parkinsons disease and Alzeimers. What part of you gets damaged and if your lucky the hospital can hook you up with a new one to replace it? That would be organs. What am I getting at?

Stem cell research has a cure/ answer for all of the problems listed above. It is said that allowing scientists to study stem cells would give them the opportunity to cure Alzeimers ,which right now, once you get it, that's it. You have it forever.

Studying it would also help create more reliable cures for cancer. We might even be able to find an alternative to using chemo against the disease.

When a patient comes in needing a replacement whatever, the studying of stem cells will also help create organs. That way we can bypass the step that involves us finding a donor.

Tuesday the Senate voted 63 to 37 on passing a bill proposed by Reps. Diana DeGette, D-Colo., and Mike Castle which would allow increased federal funding of embryonic stem-cell research. It was only 4 votes short of the necessary two-thids needed to prevent a veto if the president would choose so.

The president did choose so and the vote was vetoed. This was the first veto from our president in his whole 6 years in office. This was also Mr Bush's first time refusing to sign into law a bill approved by Congress. He was quoted "It crosses a moral boundary that our decent society needs to respect, so I vetoed it".


The president was also quoted as saying "This bill would support the taking of innocent human life of the hope of finding medical benefits for others". He said this in front of families that used stem cells to create the children they have now. Let me just clear something up with everyone. Most Stem cells in labs just sit there until they are basically useless. If the president feels that studying stem cells to cure diseases is murder, than the fact that most embryos sit in labs until there useless and destroyed is also murder. We're letting these people die and we're not doing a thing about it.

Now a little about me. I am pro-choice to a point. I think somewhere in that second tri-mester is a little too late. Anyways a stem cell is basically the result of step one when a sperm unites with an egg. That's it, it's step one. Whsoe to say that is life. Also whose to say that sperm itself isn't life. Then that means everytime I have sex or lets say masturbate I'm killing thousands and thousands of people. Im a murderer and you know what else, I'm well aware that you're a murderer too.

I would also like to bring up that the US tends to always want to be the first in everything. Going to space is a good example. A waste of money that that intrigues so many of us, including myself. I'm against spending all this money to go to space but any oppurtunity I'd have to watch a lift off or landing I'd be there. Im fascinated but what I'm against. I'll post more about space travel later. Moving on Great Britain is in the lead at studying stem cell research. There in the lead America, don't you want to be number one at everything. Lets get on this bandwagon.

It just seems that science will allow us to move forward in life. It helps answers historical questions and it study's and cures many terminal illnesses. I feel that somewhere starting in the year 2000 we started going backwards. What is happening to us?

By: Jeans Pants | Wednesday, July 19, 2006 at 12:45 PM | |

A Message from Stuart Christ

Hello everyone it's me Stuart, you know, Jesus's older brother. I was the first Messiah but I was such a fuck up my dad created Jesus to make up for my mistakes. I was the one responisble for the 10 plagues. You see my Dad said start the 10 playgues amd the plagues were suppose to be small like a cold, a rash, athletes foot, a contagious broken toe, red eye, bad gas, diareah, contagious weight gain, urinary tract infections and falling frogs. Well, I fucked it up. You all know what happened from there. After the plagues were over my Dad was like " Jesus what the hell happened here?" and that's when he came up with the idea for Jesus.

Ok I'm here because my father is running for re-election to the office of God in 2008. As some or most of you know he will be running against Justin Adams who feels that my father has been asleep on the job for the last millenium. Being that my father is the incumbent God he has a good chance of winning, but I would like to take the chance in defending my father for some of the most horrible incidents that have happened during the 1900's that made a lot of people pray "why god why?". Those moments are really fuckign annoying.

We'll start with Titanic. This is an easy one. First you named her Titanic. As most people know Titanic named after the Titans challenged God and tried to over take his kingdom claim it as their own. When God Defeated the Titans how did he banish them? At the bottom of the ocean. What was Titanics tagline? "not even god himself could sink her", well....touche

"The Great depression"? I have a reason. Give it time because you will all be living through "The Great Excitement". It will be full of Roller Coasters and money and fresh air and money.

Pearl Harbor? Hello, not our fault. You parked your entire fleet in one spot. Why would you do that?

John F Kennedy. Well this answer is as easy as the above. He drove his car through Texas with his top down. TEXAS!!!


Yeah that Texas.

Believe it or now, a lot of people blame my dad for the Nixon years. We gave you so many reasons not to vote for him. Nixon was Eisenhower's vice president. Eisenhower was fine, but we had Eisenhower slip and he actually told voters he wouldn't vote for Nixon. We had Dwight tell people on television that he didn't endorse his vice and you still voted for him. Not our fault.

Why was John Lennon shot? It was getting boring up here and I'm a big fan. His death had nothing to do with my dad. I was grounded for 10 years. It sucked.

Hussein. We had him disarmed and a nice place all planned out for him up here when he was to arrive, but you guys had to but in and give him weapons and then take them away and yadda yadda yadda you know the rest.

9/11. Let's see. Beyond our control. Wasn't planned. We gave all the right people all the right information we were suppose to. It's just that no one did anything with it. Anyways we weren't responsible. I will say that when those towers came down we assumed a nice memorial was going to be put up. A nice memorial with a lot of trees. We know that city is one big polluted death trap. But guess what? No outdoor memorial with trees. Instead there will be an inside memorial located at the bottom of a skyskraper that will be much taller then the 110 story tower that stood there before. Well we learned our lesson didn't we? I suppose this new building will have the same kind of escape route as the last tower that stood there. I also suppose there wont be any parachutes located in this building. I always thought it was contradicting that they said on 9/11 the unthinkable happened yet the building was tested to withstand a plane flying into it. Does that make it unthinkable?

November 2nd, 2004. Yeah Ummm what happened that night was my dad had a concussion. He was making a new universe and he was moving one planet but wasn't paying attention to another planet that he had already put in motion and he got clobbered with one but that's another story. My brother Jesus was playing with is kids. Yeah in heavan he and Magdaline got married and had two kids a boy named Franky and a girl Named Jenna Jameson Christ. My brother let me name the girl. He had no idea who she was but when he found out he was pissed. Anyways election night Lucifer came over, you gotta know your enemy's if you're going to fight them, and him and I went out back and smoked a doobie. I thought it was in the bag. Oh well, I fucked up again.

The plea I'm here to make us give my dad another chance. If you don't I'll have to call Justin Adams my dad and that would suck. Vote for my pop in 2008.

By: Jeans Pants | Monday, July 17, 2006 at 11:04 PM | |

Vacation almost over, Vacation please don't end.

Ah this sucks. I've had such a great vacation I know I'm going to miss it. As most of you know I went camping last week, scroll down to the post below to see some pics. Also as most of you know I went to see Pirates, scroll down below to see what I thought. Let's see this week I saw Pirates again this time with my friends Mike and Amanda. They left yesterday to go back to their homes in Michigan for two weeks to visit their families. Let's see that was Monday when I saw Pirates , Tuesday I had that bad day which you can also read about below.

Skip to Thursday Mollye and I went to a taping of Amazon Fish Bowl with Bill Maher. Amazon.com is hosting a Bill Maher show you can only see exclusively on Amazon.com. It's mostly for people to hawk their new DVD's or books they have coming out. Anyways it was awesome. He did 5 minutes of anit-Bush stand-up, then he spoke with his guests. One of them was Morgan Spurlock, the "Super Size Me" guy and one of the others was Daniel Powter who sings the over rated song titled "Bad Day". People from where I work should know the songs because they play it all day and it sucks. Daniel Powter played 2 songs and neither of them were "Bad Day". Actually the 2 other songs were pretty good.

Yesterday which was Friday Mollye and I went to Forest Lawn Burbank and we saw John Ritter's grave. Yeah we needed to think of free things to do and I was curious so we went. We were going to see Bette Davis's too but there was as procession near her spot. We didn't want to interupt it and say "hey excuse us, we're here to see Bette Davis, How you doing?....Whose that? Did you know him well or...?"

After that we went for a walk around the old Griffith Park Zoo. It was cool. If you haven't been and you live in LA you should check it out. See there are free things to do in LA. Some are a little morbid but still, free.

Last night we hung out with my friends Danny and Shawn and watched The Naked Gun 2 and a Half and The Colbert Report. Last night was also awesome because I have been craving pizza for weeks and last night my craving ended. I had pizza and it was good.

Today we woke up and went to the Getty Museum for the first time since we moved here. That's another free LA adventure you can go on. It does cost $7.00 to park and their parking sucks but still it was a really good time. It's not just the painting that are amazing to see, the place itself is it's own kind of art. It's a nice place to go if your into art and again, it's free.

Now it's Saturday night and I'm going to get off this computer before it is wasted. see you all later.

By: Jeans Pants | Saturday, July 15, 2006 at 8:25 PM | |

Weight loss update

Not good. I now weigh in at 184. It's because the last time I went running was over a week ago. I also havent been eating properly. Sometimes I've skipped both breakfast and lunch and ate a huge dinner which is something your not suppose to do. I have been trying to give up soda and for the most part I have given up alcohol so I'm sure that's why I haven't exceeded 190. That's all. That's my update

By: Jeans Pants | Friday, July 14, 2006 at 12:44 AM | |

I've Bedazzled my Page

By: Jeans Pants | at 12:44 AM | |

"Deliver us From Evil" by Justin Colbert

Oh dear lord, please don't let this be true. I don't know what I'd do if they were everywhere I turned. I'm so scared god. I think Im hyperventilating. I am I can't breathe. I think I'll pop in some songs from my favorite rocker Elton John. Wait, what's this picture I found...


NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! This can't be true. They got to him. One of their kind must have touched him or something. I'll avenge you Sir Elton. We'll have you saying "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" and rockin out to "The Bitch is Back" or "Crocodile Rock" in no time.

Maybe to calm myself down I'll watch a movie with my favorite actor Ian Mckellen. Maybe Something Lord of the Ring's-ish or X-men related.




Oh NO not him too!!!!. What's happening? Oh my God Their happening. They're spreading their disease like zombies looking for blood only their turning people gay instead of eating them.
I need to devise a plane. Let me think of what my favorite superhero would do? WWWD-What Would Wolverine Do? hmmmmmmm



ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!! Quick, if you have a bomb shelter then use it. Get in there and lock yourself up. This thing is airborne so get yourselves as many masks as possbile. Please join me now
I should give up. I have no one left in this world. But I promise to all of you, they wont assimilate me into their tribe, and I will find a way, to save you all.

By: Jeans Pants | Thursday, July 13, 2006 at 12:10 AM | |

Something Stephen Colbert said on Last Nights Show

By: Jeans Pants | at 12:05 AM | |

Technical Difficulties

Ok peoples, my blog will be under re-construction for the next few days. Something happened with ym last template and for some reason I couldn't fix it. I am currently investigating new templates. Until I figured out what I'm going to do, enjoy the re-model.

By: Jeans Pants | at 12:02 AM | |

"The Mis-Adventures of Justin Adams"

Yesterday I went to sleep at about 3AM and woke up at 8. I didn't wake up at 8 by choice. My annoying cat (Baby Shoes) wouldn't stop walking on my head. Not only that but he had this obsession with walking all over my bed side table and knocking stuff over. At the time I didn't know why he wanted so badly to go on my bedside table, but it was his goal and he was determined to accomplish it. If that wasn't bad enough to try and sleep through a scent was permiating from the floor. It was a strong, rancid scent of ammonia. As I looked down from the bed I noticed one of my blankets was on the floor with the smell of cat piss coming off of it. I have two cats. The other cats name is Mojo. Mojo is less likely to pee on things so I’m pretty sure it was Baby Shoes. When I got up and turned the light on I discovered the reason why Baby Shoes wanted so badly to stay on my bedside table. He was eating some Laughy Taffy I had left there. Baby Shoes you’re an asshole.

The rest of the day went by pretty well. Mollye was in Santa Barbara and she had called me to ask me to get quarters to do the laundry. Simple request right?

It’s 4:30, I leave with the goal to go to Ralphs, buy something cheap, and get $10 cash back in quarters. I get to Ralphs and realize that there is a Bank of America, which is my bank, on the upper level. Now if you’ve never been to Ralphs in Glendale it’s a little hard to explain. There are two levels to this parking lot. The lower level is where you’d find the entrances to both Ralphs and Long Drugs. The upper has a Borders, Petsmart and what I thought was a Bank of America.

When I walked to the escalator to go to the upper level I noticed it was out of order. Not only was it out of order but there was a giant mechanics ass sticking way up in the air and he looked like he was getting something out that was jammed. I figured he was busy so I took the elevator. I get to the second level, walk toward the Bank of America then realize that the entrance is actually downstairs. As I walked back to the escalator, the sun must have been in my eyes or I had a big brain fart but I was speed walking so I could make it to the Bank before 5 and my left hand swung into a fire hydrant. Who does that? Oh well, it hurt.

Since it is now past 5:00 I have to go back to Ralphs.. I buy a $2 thing of ice cream than get 10 dollars in quarters. On the way home there is this little aquarium store. I recently bought a fish tank from my job for $1.60. It was clearance. The tank is just big enough for a Beta fish. Mollye and I had agreed that we’d get a female Beta. So I stop in, buy a Beta Fish for $2.99 and then head to a Taco Bell, it’s bad for you but I was craving it. Mollye and I have been pretty poor so I was trying to be a good boyfriend and I wanted to call to ask her if it was ok for me to get food. She didn’t pick up. I decided that I would just leave and make food at home.

Now I’m home. I pop in a Jack Lemmon movie I had just received from netflix, then I look for something to eat. I take out the peanut butter and jelly but then realize, there’s no bread. After that I started to defrost some hamburger meat, but then realize there are no buns. I gave up. I had put the fish near it’s tank and went looking for the spring water Mollye and I bought so we could do water changes for our other Beta Fish. I searched and searched for it but couldn’t find it. I then opened the fridge. There it is. If you’re not familiar with fish they need clean spring water and it can’t be cold. I called Mollye again and this time she picked up. I asked where the water was she said “the fridge”. Knowing I was going out again I asked if I could get Taco Bell she said “of course”.

I head for Taco Bell. I walked in and bought two chalupas and two burritos. Once I got back to my car I realized I paid for two of each but only received one of each. I went back in and luckily they realized their mistake and got the rest of my order. Now back to Ralphs for water, bread and buns. I go in, get it and leave.

Something I thought was funny happened in Ralphs. Two girls, a redhead and a brunette were also looking at the bread. They were very Valley Girl.

Brunette

You know if you’re going to buy white bread it has to be Wonder bread

Redhead

That’s so true

Brunette

Anything else would be absolutely ridiculous

Redhead

Totally

I thought that was funny.

As I’m pulling up my street there are no cars parked on one side and the other side has tons of spaces. As I get to the drive way to my apartment complex I see, not a fruit truck, not am ice cream truck, but a Snow Cone truck parked in the only entrance to my apartment complex. I sit there for a second as he sells his snow cones from his truck in my driveway to this overweight disgusting family. I refer to the family this way because I now hate them. I sit, I wait. After a while I gave a honk because, well, I want to go home and what he’s doing is illegal.. Once I gave the honk the mother stuck her first finger up giving me the “just wait a minute” gesture. Really? Your not kidding me with this?

Finally the Snow Cone truck leaves and I can go home. From then on I stayed in, where it was safe. Until I took my first bite out of my burrito and it spilt all over my new favorite shirt.

I just want to ask, who invented the Snow Cone truck? Who invented the truck that sells shredded ice with syrup on it? Fucking people.

I woke up this morning and couldn’t figure out why my hand hurt so bad. I looked at it and noticed a bruise. I then thought “oh yeah, the fire hydrant.

By: Jeans Pants | Tuesday, July 11, 2006 at 7:19 PM | |

Dear Assholes,

There must be some chemical imbalance in your head that gives you the idea that I and everyone else who lives around me wants to hear your shitty music playing at 3:00 in the morning. Why must you me so self righteous to think that your doing us a favor. You really don't give a shit. This is your life, your planet, I will do what I want. Your probably one of the pricks that throw trash all over my street. Hey it's your planet you can do what you want right? Maybe your not self righteous. Maybe your not a prick. Maybe your just an asshole.

Assholes of the world, hear me. I'm tired of your bullshit. Wait a minute. Maybe you don't realize your an asshole. Let me give you some clues that might tell you if your an asshole.

By: Jeans Pants | Sunday, July 09, 2006 at 10:23 AM | |

"Dead Man's Chest" Will Supply You with Multiple Orgasms

After I wrote my Superman Returns review a few people at work asked me when I was going to start writing good posts again. One person quipped with, " yeah you had an orgasm all over that movie". When that was said to me I thought to myself "WOW, isn't that something I would say?"

If I did have an oragasm during Superman than I had multiple during "Dead Man's Chest". See how the title to this post works?

Most critics like to recap the movie during their reviews. I wont do that. I will make this as quick and painless as possible.

If you haven't seen the original yet than I highly reccomend you do so before seeing this. This movie practically picks up right where the first one left us. If you watch or watched the original and didn't like it then you probably wont like this movie either. Both movies share a lot of the same humour and popcorn action.

I just want to say one thing about the action. The ship to ship fighting was awesome. Keira Knightly kicking ass was great. The Kraken( an octppus like sea creature) destroying pirate ships was incredible to watch. In my opinion the only thing I didn't like very much was the sword fighting in this movie. I remember when I first saw "The Curse of the Black Pearl" I wasn't prepared at how impressive the sword fighting turned out. For me this movie didn't deliver in one aspect and that was the sword fights. If I was expecting 100% from this movie I think I got 98-99 and that's still great.

So now I will give 7 reasons why I loved this movie.

7. Orlano Bloom and Keira Knightly. I like Keira way more than Orlando. She always has this powerful presents whenever she's on screen. Orlando shares number 7 with her because you can't have one without the other and it was great to see their characters back.

6. The Sound. It was amazing. Escpecially the sound of the Krakens tenticles. It was the combination of , not oooh ahhh but ew ahhh.

5. The cinematography. Like the first movie. this movie was a sight to see. Every shot was set up perfectly

4. The Kraken. I have nothing to say about it except that it was pretty exciting whenever it appeared.

3. Johnny Depp or Captain Jack Sparrow. This is the first role Johnny Depp has played more then once. It's always a pleasure to watch Johnny Depp act even when you might disagree with his approach. He's one of the few actors in Hollywood that actually acts. He's very versatile and that's why he's one of my favorites.

2. Bill Nighy or Davey Jones. I first saw Bill Nighy act in the movie Underworld. I then saw him in Love Actually and since then I've loved watching him in anything he's appeared in. Even the movies I don't like. He's now one of my new favorite actors. Davey Jones is the combination of great/convincing acting with some of the best digital efffects make-up I've ever seen. It looked so real. In case you don't know who Bill Nighy is I'll just say he's also the step dad in Shaun of the Dead. And if that doesn't help then here are some pics of him.






1. The number one thing I loved about this movie is......




Well I can't tell you. It happens during the last 30 seconds of the movie and I don't want to ruin anything. So I'll just say the ending is really good.

By: Jeans Pants | Saturday, July 08, 2006 at 8:52 PM | |

I Make do with my Promise

What happend these last 2 days? I leave everybody alone and some how you managed to piss off North Korea and get Ken Lay acquitted. Never again will I leave. You need me.

Kim Jong Il test Fired 7 (count em) 7 missles Tuesday. One missles destination was to either come close to or hit Hawaii. President Bush is asking all nations to help investigate Kim Jong Il's actions. My question is is he asking for help or is he crying for help since we really don't have any troops left.We have a plethora of troops in Iraq, about another couple hundred gaurding us from the real threat between Mexico and the United States, and about 10 in Afghanistan looking for Bin Laden. Oh yeah , we also need to account for the loss of troops that are being sent to prison due to them beating prisoners or raping woman in front of their families and then murdering them. So I wonder why we don't have the man power to stop Kim Jong Il. it's interesting we chose Iraq first even though it was proven years ago that north Korea had W.M.D's and that they have one of the largest supply of concentration camps in the world. They have their own little holocaust going on. But we need not worry about North Korea. They could never be a threat. Supposedly conservatives are mad a liberals who are standing up and saying "told you so" about North Korea. Well, told you so.

On a lighter note, Ken Lay is dead. Party at IHOP later. Ken Lay's death makes you wonder, is this a blessing in disguise or the devil in disguise? I'll send Justin Colbert to investigate later.

Yesterday was our president Georgy Bush's birthday. I think his age now is asshole if I'm correct. He and his wife spent his birthday with Larry King. Larry King kept pestering the president on how he feels about his low approval ratings. The First Lady responded with "we see the approval ratings and I don't think they matter. No matter where we go there are huge crowds cheering us on. we are met with applause and smiles wherever we go". Well there being cheered on wheverever they go because the only people going to the rallys are supporters. She's as sharp as nails. Oh well, I hope Larry King didn't ruin his birthday. He deserves a good birthday.

Then there was our camping trip. Mollye and I went to Camp Jalama (pronounced Halama) which is about 30 minutes north of Santa Barabara. It was an amazing 2 days. i've never camped out on a beach before. The view from all angles was incredible. Let me show you some highlights from the trip.















Then there was the sunset. It was beautiful. Well that's my trip and that's what happened the two days I was away. It looks like fun was had by all.

By: Jeans Pants | Friday, July 07, 2006 at 11:53 AM | |

A Teaser Post For Tomorrow

I"m back from my trip and I'm saying nothing about it till tomorrow. So here's a teaser post to leave you in suspence with.

TOMORROW, How was my trip? How red are my arms? Did I cheat on Mollye with a 60 year old fat drunken loser named Carl in the Mens room?

Kim Jong IL, why is everyone mad at his fireworks display?


The president turned 60 yesterday and where was my invite? I remember last year he said "hey buddy, I just forgot. Don't worry I'll get ya next year heh heh". Yeah I'll get you next year my ass you coked up loser. Find out how I'm coping over this betrayel.

Ken Lay, A look back at my hero

...and how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck

By: Jeans Pants | at 1:30 AM | |

"My Interview With The Justin" by Justin Colbert

Hello Folks. So "The Justin" may be going camping, but I'm not. I'm staying right here. No invites. No nothing. Not even a goodbye. I guess since he's leaving I can write whatever I want about him. Like Awww boo hoo he needs to see his family. What a pussy!!! The sad thing is that for the past few months now I've received countless emails asking me "what do I think about" The Justin". Frankly I have no idea, and I don't care. Because he didn't take me camping. I have no idea who he is and what he stands for. I went out of my way to sit down with this chauvinistic, racist, American hating pig to ask him some questions so I may figure out, Do I love him or not? Be warned you're about to enter the no spin zone, my interview with "The Justin begins, as soon as you start reading.

By: Jeans Pants | Tuesday, July 04, 2006 at 3:45 PM | |

Im going Camping

There still maybe more posts after this one before I leave to go camping. I'll be gone until Friday morning. I just wanted to give people a heads up in case there looking for me and can't get through. I doubt there will be good cell phone service where I'm going but Im still bringing it with me. I'll be back Friday to see Pirates. I have an exciting 3 days coming up.

My goal for tonight and when I come home will be to figure out a good time to go back home to see my family. My Mom called me yesterday and she said my grandmother was doing better. I spoke to her on the phone for more than 10 seconds. It sounded as if her engery is back. All I got to do now is figure out when I'm heading back and convince my bosses to give me another vacation. We'll see.

This may be my last post until Saturday. If that is the case then goodbye everyone. See you soon.

By: Jeans Pants | at 3:20 PM | |

My grandfather was a kind generous man. Unlike me, he was quiet and didn't find everything funny like I do. Whenever he found something funny his laughter would light up the room. He was always there for me whenever I needed him. One time I needed a music book so I could rehearse a song at school. I left it at my house. He actually drove 3 towns from his house to to my school to bring me that book. it wasn't until he died that i realized that he was the rock that held my family together. He took his last breath on October 7, 1997 at 12:50 pm. I will forever remember that moment like it was yesterday.

The last thing he ever spoke was to me. Everyone left me alone with him. He was gasping for breath all day. He didn't say a word to anyone. He couldn't. I was talking to him, I can't remember at all what about. I tried asking questions just to see if anything happened and nothing did. I don't know what made me say this, it's seems almost wrong, but I said "this sucks", and turned to me and said "yes". Then he went back into his breathing trance and died shortly after. I miss him.

I'm writing this now because I'm torn. Last year a took a vacation back home. Massachusetts to be precise. As much as I loved seeing my family they never visit me. I always go to them. Most of my vacations are spent visiting everyone and trying to give attention to everyone because it may be another year before I see them again. This year i decided to take a vacation at home. my goals were to relax, write and relax. Put myself back together because I'm afraid I've been letting my job get to me and I've been bringing some stress home (read my last post).Plus my job is full of Gossip and it would be nice to get away from school, I mean my job for a bit.

Yesterday at work I called my mom. I had a short talk and said I needed to go, I didn't want to be late from break. As I was saying by and hanging up my mom blurted 'your grandmother is going in for open heart surgery". This is the grandmother who is/was/is the other half of my grandfather. my grandmother hasn't been doing well at all since my grandfather died. She moved in with my mom, which is good and bad. Good because my grandmother has things to do, people to talk to and isn't alone anymore. Bad because my mom is convinced that Donuts are good for you and a good way to make sure your eating vegetables is to order beef and Brocoli from Panda Express. Also bad because my mom isn't completly Psychologicaly stable. She's nto physically abusive, she doesn't drink (anymore), she acts over stressed out during little situations. Like me sometimes, but hers is bad. She can also be verbally abusive, not as much as she used to be. Goodbye Alcohol.

On the phone yesterday I talked to my grandmother for the shortest amount of time. She was having trouble breathing and wanted to get off the phone. At that moment I cried for the first time since last August. I was in the break room in front of everybody. I got up and walked into the bathroom.

The point of the post is I'm sad, torn and confused. I really wanted time to just relax and do my thang. There are books I want to read, movies I wanted to see, places I wanted to go, things I wanted to write and then there's my $200 acoustic guitar thats just been sitting under my bed since the day I moved here, March 2005. Ticket prices are extremly high now, but I was thinking of cutting my vacation short, going back to work , than heading to Massachusetts in September or October at the latest. You know maybe I can still do both if I can find a way to afford to go in October without needing a paid vacation. I guess the right thing to do would be to go back to work. I'm so lost right now

I realize my posts can be more of a diary entry than anything else. This particular post is probably at the top of them all. I really wanted to give some people a warning. I may not be myself, I may sometimes be distant. It's all because I have a lot on my mind. I didn't tell anybody about any of this at work yesterday because I just wanted to get through the day. I also wanted to try and have as much fun as possible. I don't think I have an ending. Maybe my ending will be , I love you Nana. Please pull through this.

By: Jeans Pants | Monday, July 03, 2006 at 1:45 PM | |

This Day Deserves A Funeral

Oh my god today sucked. How much did it suck you ask?

By: Jeans Pants | Sunday, July 02, 2006 at 11:11 PM | |

Oh Boy!!!

Dear Blog,
Why is it that you are my curse? I thought you were my friend. It would appear that you have been a combination of both my pain and my jinx. I've learned this week that the blog can be more powerful than I've ever imagined.

First I wrote a post about a lazy co-worker. Now, unlike any post I've ever written, people were talking about it all week. So much it got me in trouble. Not with work. They did find out but they were pretty cool about it. It was the co-workers. Some how that one little post caused arguments. Bad ones. For a short time I had people hating me. It was an uncormfortable week in my department. Good news though. I think everyone is over it. So now we can all get along again.

But Blog thats not the real reason why I'm upset. I'm upset because I announced on this page that I was on a diet, running 3 miles a day 5 days a yada yada yada. Since I wrote that post I have yet to run again. I also havent had time to pick up my weights. I was going to document my weight loss through this blog. Now I need to inform everybody what I've done.

Thursday I had an oil filled chicken croquette at work. That was gross. Than after work, before I saw Superman Returns, I had food from Chipotle, then I had popcorn. The next day I had a ham, cheese, roast beef, salami, peperoni, turkey sandwich at work. After work I had a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich. Today I had Orange chicken and in and out burger and cold stone. All spread out of course. I havent ran in 5 days. I suck.

So blog when I tell people about this they'll be pissed. Did you curse me blog? Why would you do that? I've always taken care of you.

I've come to the conclusion that if I want something, and I write about it, the opposite will happen. If that's the case than tomorrow I wont win the lottery, I won't have a good night at work, and I wont go for a run. Nice I think i took care of the problem. Blog, good luck trying to ruin my dreams tomorrow.

I will tell you tomorrow how things turn out. Until then, take care.
Sincerly, The Justin

By: Jeans Pants | at 1:35 AM | |