"Good News from the Battlefront" by Justin Colbert
No I'm not refering to the war in Iraq. Im refering to the war that will stop baby killers all across America. The Senate tried to pass a bill that would further studies in stem cell research. It passed. But heres the great news, our lord and saviour President Bush vetoed the bill. Good things are going to come from this. My whinny," you don't love me anymore" mother who is dying from cancer has been given a few weeks to live. Without stem cell research she'll die. Thank you Mr Bush. Looking forward to the delicious food at the funeral.
For my wife who was diagnosed with Parkinsons disease, well it's been a tough time for her. How could I live with myself knowing my wife is normal only because we murdered babies to cure her. So in that case I'll just divorce her. Sure I love her but theres no way I'm going to take care of that my whole life.
This makes me proud of my commander and chief. I know that one day he'll be diagnosed with some sort of disease like Parkinsons, Cancer, Alzeimers and I can't wait to see the bravery in his face when he looks at the nation and you'll be able to tell by the look on his face that he's proud. He'll be proud that he's giving his life to save the millions of tiny embyros that are just sitting in a lab, and are probably going to be destroyed anyways but that's not the point. The point is, he's a hero.
Listen everyone diseases are our own responsiblility. Woman check those breasts, men check those sacks. I'm checking mine right now. You need to feel around down there to make sure that there aren't any....any....wait. What's this I found? What the hell is this? Is this a bruise? It doesn't hurt. Oh MY GOD NO!!! Oh FUCK!!!! NO!!!!! This can't be what it is!!! Oh SHIT NO!!! WHY GOD???? WHY, WHAT HAVE I DONE? I DON'T DESERVE CANCER. DAMN YOU MR BUSH, IM GOING TO DIE AND IT"S ALL YOUR FAULT FOR BANNING STEM CELL RESEARCH!!! AH IT SUCKS THAT IT'S OK TO BAN SOMETHING UNTIL IT CAN BENEFIT YOU...AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There
Keep up the good work. thnx!
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