Dear Assholes,
There must be some chemical imbalance in your head that gives you the idea that I and everyone else who lives around me wants to hear your shitty music playing at 3:00 in the morning. Why must you me so self righteous to think that your doing us a favor. You really don't give a shit. This is your life, your planet, I will do what I want. Your probably one of the pricks that throw trash all over my street. Hey it's your planet you can do what you want right? Maybe your not self righteous. Maybe your not a prick. Maybe your just an asshole.
Assholes of the world, hear me. I'm tired of your bullshit. Wait a minute. Maybe you don't realize your an asshole. Let me give you some clues that might tell you if your an asshole.
When you pull up in front of someones house in a neighborhood and your blasting your horrible music that's full of bass and it either wakes people up or distracts them from whatever they might have been doing...then you might be an asshole.
(oh and by the way bass isn't music you fucking moron, have you even listened to the lyrics of the song)
If your driving on a highway and you decide to go above 80 and you swerve in and out of lanes because your looking for the most convenient route to get you to your destination which probably isn't that important, say a girlfriends house or a Home Depot, then you might be an asshole. You really don't care if you kill someone do you?
When a girl walks by you and your group and you decide to yell "Hey which way you heading" or "comr with me baby I'll show you a good time" or some other obscenity...then you might be an asshole.
When you go shopping with your assistant and you treat that assistant like garbage because everything you want can't be done it needs to be done another way...then you might be an asshole
Also when you go shopping and you use your kids in any way to either get what you want or get your point across. Example: " I know sweetie Mommy's mad because shes been here so long and you can tell she's mad can't you" or "please help me out you see I have a kid and it's really hard for me to come back or get out or to do anything I want to do with my life"...Then you might be an asshole.
When you spend a beautiful day off , not at the beach but at a retail store.... you might be an asshole.
When you use revenge as a way of retaliation, Afghanistant, Iraq. And you shoot them without an disregard for any life you might destroy...then you might be an asshole
When you insist on breeding because "that's what your suppose to do" and the meals you feed your kids get worse and worse the more kids you have. Meals are now fast food resaurants almost everyday...then you might be an asshole.
(oh and by the way bass isn't music you fucking moron, have you even listened to the lyrics of the song)
If your driving on a highway and you decide to go above 80 and you swerve in and out of lanes because your looking for the most convenient route to get you to your destination which probably isn't that important, say a girlfriends house or a Home Depot, then you might be an asshole. You really don't care if you kill someone do you?
When a girl walks by you and your group and you decide to yell "Hey which way you heading" or "comr with me baby I'll show you a good time" or some other obscenity...then you might be an asshole.
When you go shopping with your assistant and you treat that assistant like garbage because everything you want can't be done it needs to be done another way...then you might be an asshole
Also when you go shopping and you use your kids in any way to either get what you want or get your point across. Example: " I know sweetie Mommy's mad because shes been here so long and you can tell she's mad can't you" or "please help me out you see I have a kid and it's really hard for me to come back or get out or to do anything I want to do with my life"...Then you might be an asshole.
When you spend a beautiful day off , not at the beach but at a retail store.... you might be an asshole.
When you use revenge as a way of retaliation, Afghanistant, Iraq. And you shoot them without an disregard for any life you might destroy...then you might be an asshole
When you insist on breeding because "that's what your suppose to do" and the meals you feed your kids get worse and worse the more kids you have. Meals are now fast food resaurants almost everyday...then you might be an asshole.
OK I can go on forever. Normally I would say wake up everyone, stop acting like assholes and start acting like human beings. But maybe the purpose of the human race is to be assholes. Maybe it's who we are. It's our blood. So everyone stop acting like assholes and start acting like cats. All they do is eat, fuck and cuddle. Sounds good to me.
There
Or when you bring your 8 month old baby to the midnight showing of the Omen...
yeah.. bitches! stop being such assholes!
wow and you werent even at work today...
please come back to work already