I just wanted to share this with everyone

I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GO TO WORK TODAY

By: Jeans Pants | Saturday, February 25, 2006 at 12:32 PM | |

Just an update

Ever want to do a commentary for a movie. No? Well I have and thats what my friend Mike and myself are currently doing. Were going to start a website where we post commentaries we've made for really bad movies. Yesterday we sat through all of Friday the 13th and recorded a large audio file of ourselves talking over it. We're trying to be informative while tearing the movie to pieces. Hopefully we'll have a website up and running soon and also hopefully people will have a good time with what we have to see. Again I'll keep you all informed. Heres the only picture of Mike and myself I have.


Maybe this could be our official symbol. We're cool.

By: Jeans Pants | Thursday, February 23, 2006 at 11:56 PM | |

My New Career

So I went up to my friend Pablo the other day and told him that we need to open a restaurant. He asked "what are we going to call it?" my response was "Pablos Burritos". He didn't really like it. He said "No just because Im mexican doesn't mean we have to open a Burrito Restaurant". I said "Touche my friend, we will sell Chinese food". He was in full support. So be on the look out everyone for our new restaurant opening soon. Becareful when you order the enchilada. It's not an enchilada, it's sweet and sour pork. When you order the chimichanga it will be orange chicken, Im a genious. Here's picture I drew of what the restaurant should look like when we finally open.


Pretty exciting eh? Ok so if you would like a piece of this golden opportunity please send money to me. Trust me it will be put to good use. I don't have a picture of Pablo and myself but heres a sketch of us I drew.



How can you say no to us. We do except cash. Wish us luck.

By: Jeans Pants | at 11:41 PM | |

My Experience at Underworld Evolution

This probably wont be a long post. I should probably explain that Mollye has been back for about a month now and since she's been back two things have been happening. First Ive been busy spending time with her. The second thing is that she can be a bad muse sometimes. It may seem like that's a bad thing but it really isn't. She likes to tell stories alot and when she does Im all ears. So when Im sitting at the computer with the goal to type I sometimes will hear a story instead. As a result there have been less posts. It's great to have her back because I missed her lots. Life is better.

Wait whats the title of this post...Oh yeah. Ok so I went to see Underworld Evolution today with Mollye and my friends Danny and Shawn. When I sat down I noticed that the person sitting next to me was a 3-5 year old child. Now Underworld is rated R and if your not familiar with series they're a vampire bloodfest with swearing, sex and violence.

Luckily for me the kid was well behaved. I have no complaints except that he was too cute. I would like to quote the kid 10 minutes into the movie after a vampire with wings has been awoken from the dead and ripped off the head of another vampire. the kid turns to his dad "Im scared". I would like to tell you the fathers response but I didn't get it.

Why do people think it's ok to bring kids, wait infants to movies like this. I honestly find it sick. Should I be more mad at the parents or the theater owners that say it's ok for kids to come to these movies as long as there's a parent accompanying them. Ok I'm more mad at the parents.

I remember a friend of mine at work a few months back was going to bring his 4 year old to see Batman Begins. Not nearly as bad as Underworld but Batman Begins has alot of heavy dialogue, not alot of Batman. I just find this so strange that parents are ok with this. I would think that kid in Underworld may be awake right now in his room worried that the flying ugly vampire may be in his room or trying to break in. Maybe if he's lucky he will get paid a visit in his dreams from the vampire...the vampires name is Markus. We'll just call him Marcus form now on. So Marcus in the movie ripped peoples faces off from the jaw up. actually let me see if I can find a pic of him


This picture sucks. Its the only one I could find but at least you get the idea. He looked this way the whole movie.

The experience today reminded me of when I saw the movie "Go" opening night. In the theater there were two parents with a baby carrier and a new born infant in it. Also there was another kid maybe 3-5. "Go", if your not familiar with it, is a movie with alot of swearing, speed usage, sex, strip clubs and inuendos. How dare those people too. I know in todays world having a kid is like a fashion statement. People have them just so they can say in conversations , "Yeah yeah I've got one of those" or "Yeah woo Ive got 6 and you know what, it's hard. Its hard raising 6 kids working at Burger King, how does the government expect us to to do this?" How bout don't have them. I hate swearing on my blog but I just want to say, Fucking People.

Its funny when Im at work and they ask me to cover kids I used to hate too because I kind of dislike kids. I found them annoying and messy. As time went by I still hate covering kids but not because I don't like children. I love children, I just hate most parents. Fucking People.

By: Jeans Pants | Sunday, February 19, 2006 at 11:43 PM | |

You can Post Comments

I changed the settings to my blog, now anyone can post a comment. Lets see if anyone actually does.

By: Jeans Pants | at 11:37 AM | |

S.A.D. Save Arrested Development

Tonight may have been the last Arrested Development. please visit. http://s-a-d.blogspot.com/

To read my Arrested Development blog and my new post their. If it's truly over I will miss you very much my favorite show.

By: Jeans Pants | Saturday, February 11, 2006 at 1:41 AM | |

"Adams 2008"

Thats right ladies and gentlemen. After bareing witness to planes flying into buildings, after watching a hurricane slam into the gulf coast destroying homes and killing thousands, after watching this administration lie, cheat, and con it's way out of everything Ive decided to do one thing to make a difference. In 2008 , get your ballots ready because yes, I am running for God. That's right with me in power not only will I give myself a shitload of money but I will also help others. How so you may ask? Well under this last administration we have seen a countless amount of hurricanes plow through the US border , I promise if elected that I will bring us back to a time where hurricanes are just a nuisance and not this horrible menace that has been taking lives from us over these last few years( pause for applause).
Under my term I will also renew Arrested Development for another 12 seasons. We will destroy horrible programming like "The War at Home" "Bones" "American Idol" , hey these are all fox shows, what do you know. As I was saying destroy these shows to make room for Arrested Development everynight of the week.
I guess I'll also take care of the homeless issue, build free Baja Fresh's all across Africa, make red states pink( I wont change them too quickly, it takes adjustment), and get rid of guns.
Why do people need guns? If you get rid of guns you get rid of most of crime. I will abolish all guns. Once the guns are gone people will have to mug other people with swords. Wouldn't that be so much cooler. It would also inspire people to learn how to sword fight. Imagine how cool that would be. You turn the corner and you see this awsome sword fight going on. You can choose to watch or join in with your sword. Aaaaaaahhhhhhh swords are cool. Now for a quick second imagine lightsabers, ok Im done.
I will also give everyman the Shallow Hal complex. Guys will find every woman attractive until they find their perfect one. Once that happens everyone else becomes ugly. That way even ugly girls get attention and once the man and woman are married the man would only want them, everyone else is ugly now. The same works with the opposite sex.
Heres the last big thing I'll do. I will destroy cancer. Im so sick of this disease. Once elected I would find the disease and beat the shit out of it, than kill it. Doesnt that sound nice.
Ok you heard me and hopefully you believe in me. Oh I will also give snakes legs and replace planes with starships. Remember come election day. Vote Adams 2008.

By: Jeans Pants | Friday, February 10, 2006 at 12:46 AM | |

I hope you get satire

Ladies and gentlemen we have a problem. In case you havent noticed the movie Brokeback Mountain has gotten rave reviews and has drawn in a pretty impressive crowd at the box office. To make matters worse just about every theater from the red states are showing the film and the movie is winning acclaimed awards from all over. That brings up this one question, How do we stop the porn filth from winning at the academy awards and spreading its "its ok to be a gay message".
Theres a story I would like to share. This story involves a couple I know who paid to go see a movie. Not sure what movie but thats not important. When their movie was over the girlfriend convinced her man to sneak into Brokeback Mountain. It hadn't started yet so they would get to experience two whole movies. They walk into the theater and down the rows to to pick a seat. When they were about to sit down the boyfriend asked "Is this the gay cowboy movie?" The girl responded "no" . Than he said "Tell me the truth" her reply was "ok yes it is". That lead to the boyfriend saying "No way were leaving Im not staying for this". Shocking isnt it. What could she have been thinking her boyfriend could easily have caught gay. That man is a hero. Cheers to you sir for helping in our fight against gay.
Right now I would like to send a shout out to my man. An underated genious who this country owes a debt of gratitude. Tyler Perry aka Media.



( Ok I need to come back to myself for a minute and just explain that I watched a comercial for this guys DVD's that came out a few months back. This guy writes plays and movies where he plays an old lady named Medea. The only thing I know about the plays/movies is that critics hate them and he somehow makes millions which in turns gives him the money to make more and more of these horrible shows with this same character. Hes obviously a man of many talents. Anyways in the comercial I saw they showed a quick clip of Medea just saying "Faget" which caused the audience to laugh and scream. That I guess is a selling point. Just say Faget and people all over will love you and laugh. If that's not a step backwards than I don't know what is. That must be what Im in my writing.)

Lets see where was I . Oh yes Tyler Perry, my man, my hero. I strive to someday be you. a transvestite yelling ignnorant words to keep the world smileing. Hey to all you people out there Tyler Perry is just telling it like it is. He speaks the truth. In your dreams will you ever be the kind of man he is. A cross dressing 30 year old man striving to be an 80 year old woman.

Theirs one last thing I'd like to mention about this Gay epidemic. Obviously being gay is caused by a greater power. That power of course comes from a planet far away. What we need to do is stop spending money on useless things like curing aids and cancer and stop spending money to help the homeless. They just need to get jobs. Once were done with that we first need to put all of our money into Iraq. We havent spent nearly enough yet. Lets do what we can to keep this baby going for at least another 6 years. After that we need to merge the military and NASA and and give them the rest of the surplus (there wil be plenty) . We will send our ships up into space to this sector. This is where NASA is pretty sure the planet of gay is located.



Now we're going to have to act quickly because we have some other satelite images that arent very pleasant. It would seem that they have constructed some sort of space station.


We need to wait out this 20 year (it went up) Iraq war and work hard at getting our military and fighter ships ready to prepare for the fight to stay straight.


OK I have nowhere else to go with this. This post was mostly inspired by the story about the boyfriend that freaked out and left the theater. Sometimes I fear we just keep going backwards and not just with gay rights but with everything. But than I realize that Brokeback is winning lots of awards while making money and surprisingly not being banned by as many theaters as I thought. Maybe it's not being banned because it is making so much money. I guess that could leave the message, Its ok to be gay if it makes me money. Eh whatever its still a step in the right direction as awful as it may sound.

(I've been inspired by Stephen Colbert recently. Thats why I wrote a post like this. I love you Stephen...what I'm not gay...not that its a bad thing...to be...eh forget it)

By: Jeans Pants | Wednesday, February 08, 2006 at 3:41 PM | |

Stuart Christ ?

Ok so since writing my last post (which you should at least scan before reading this one) I've come up with a theory. Ok so Im not a very religious person. Im very indecisive about what I am. Some days Im agnostoc, other days Im atheist, sometimes christian, jewish I dont know lets move on. Heres a theory behind why bad days are always terrible. This could answer the same question I know we all ponder, Why aren't bad days ever good?...what.
Ok heres a theory. First of all their is a God. Second God had a son, Jesus. Good man. Heres what alot of people don't know, God had another son, Jesus's older brother , Stuart. Stuart wasnt a very smart man. In fact he was the black sheep. We don't know about him because he did stupid crap like wipe his boogers all over the adobe or leave a trail of shit that would lead from the house to hidden presents scattered about the yard. This is where Easter rabbits and eggs came from. Except it would be in-humane to leave trails of shit everywhere so we used color rabbit eggs instead.
OK moving on, you still with me. Ok so my theory is that God may have other things to do. It's a big world out there and God needs to run it. Maybe even Jesus has busy days too so they need assistance from a third power...Stuart. Maybe Stuart is responsible for all our bad days. I mean it does seem a little weird that when days go bad they get worse and worse. Maybe when Stuart suppose to be in charge God comes home to find him just vegged on the couch naked with a bag of cheetos and a gameboy. Than we Here STUART!!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO???? Its also possible that Stuart is busy coming on to our gaurdian angels and as a result noone is watching over us. If any of this is true than I have one thing to say STUART!!!! YOU SON OF A ...NICE LADY OF IMMACULATE CONCEPTION.

By: Jeans Pants | Sunday, February 05, 2006 at 10:33 PM | |