I hope you get satire

Ladies and gentlemen we have a problem. In case you havent noticed the movie Brokeback Mountain has gotten rave reviews and has drawn in a pretty impressive crowd at the box office. To make matters worse just about every theater from the red states are showing the film and the movie is winning acclaimed awards from all over. That brings up this one question, How do we stop the porn filth from winning at the academy awards and spreading its "its ok to be a gay message".
Theres a story I would like to share. This story involves a couple I know who paid to go see a movie. Not sure what movie but thats not important. When their movie was over the girlfriend convinced her man to sneak into Brokeback Mountain. It hadn't started yet so they would get to experience two whole movies. They walk into the theater and down the rows to to pick a seat. When they were about to sit down the boyfriend asked "Is this the gay cowboy movie?" The girl responded "no" . Than he said "Tell me the truth" her reply was "ok yes it is". That lead to the boyfriend saying "No way were leaving Im not staying for this". Shocking isnt it. What could she have been thinking her boyfriend could easily have caught gay. That man is a hero. Cheers to you sir for helping in our fight against gay.
Right now I would like to send a shout out to my man. An underated genious who this country owes a debt of gratitude. Tyler Perry aka Media.



( Ok I need to come back to myself for a minute and just explain that I watched a comercial for this guys DVD's that came out a few months back. This guy writes plays and movies where he plays an old lady named Medea. The only thing I know about the plays/movies is that critics hate them and he somehow makes millions which in turns gives him the money to make more and more of these horrible shows with this same character. Hes obviously a man of many talents. Anyways in the comercial I saw they showed a quick clip of Medea just saying "Faget" which caused the audience to laugh and scream. That I guess is a selling point. Just say Faget and people all over will love you and laugh. If that's not a step backwards than I don't know what is. That must be what Im in my writing.)

Lets see where was I . Oh yes Tyler Perry, my man, my hero. I strive to someday be you. a transvestite yelling ignnorant words to keep the world smileing. Hey to all you people out there Tyler Perry is just telling it like it is. He speaks the truth. In your dreams will you ever be the kind of man he is. A cross dressing 30 year old man striving to be an 80 year old woman.

Theirs one last thing I'd like to mention about this Gay epidemic. Obviously being gay is caused by a greater power. That power of course comes from a planet far away. What we need to do is stop spending money on useless things like curing aids and cancer and stop spending money to help the homeless. They just need to get jobs. Once were done with that we first need to put all of our money into Iraq. We havent spent nearly enough yet. Lets do what we can to keep this baby going for at least another 6 years. After that we need to merge the military and NASA and and give them the rest of the surplus (there wil be plenty) . We will send our ships up into space to this sector. This is where NASA is pretty sure the planet of gay is located.



Now we're going to have to act quickly because we have some other satelite images that arent very pleasant. It would seem that they have constructed some sort of space station.


We need to wait out this 20 year (it went up) Iraq war and work hard at getting our military and fighter ships ready to prepare for the fight to stay straight.


OK I have nowhere else to go with this. This post was mostly inspired by the story about the boyfriend that freaked out and left the theater. Sometimes I fear we just keep going backwards and not just with gay rights but with everything. But than I realize that Brokeback is winning lots of awards while making money and surprisingly not being banned by as many theaters as I thought. Maybe it's not being banned because it is making so much money. I guess that could leave the message, Its ok to be gay if it makes me money. Eh whatever its still a step in the right direction as awful as it may sound.

(I've been inspired by Stephen Colbert recently. Thats why I wrote a post like this. I love you Stephen...what I'm not gay...not that its a bad thing...to be...eh forget it)