Stuart Christ ?

Ok so since writing my last post (which you should at least scan before reading this one) I've come up with a theory. Ok so Im not a very religious person. Im very indecisive about what I am. Some days Im agnostoc, other days Im atheist, sometimes christian, jewish I dont know lets move on. Heres a theory behind why bad days are always terrible. This could answer the same question I know we all ponder, Why aren't bad days ever good?...what.
Ok heres a theory. First of all their is a God. Second God had a son, Jesus. Good man. Heres what alot of people don't know, God had another son, Jesus's older brother , Stuart. Stuart wasnt a very smart man. In fact he was the black sheep. We don't know about him because he did stupid crap like wipe his boogers all over the adobe or leave a trail of shit that would lead from the house to hidden presents scattered about the yard. This is where Easter rabbits and eggs came from. Except it would be in-humane to leave trails of shit everywhere so we used color rabbit eggs instead.
OK moving on, you still with me. Ok so my theory is that God may have other things to do. It's a big world out there and God needs to run it. Maybe even Jesus has busy days too so they need assistance from a third power...Stuart. Maybe Stuart is responsible for all our bad days. I mean it does seem a little weird that when days go bad they get worse and worse. Maybe when Stuart suppose to be in charge God comes home to find him just vegged on the couch naked with a bag of cheetos and a gameboy. Than we Here STUART!!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO???? Its also possible that Stuart is busy coming on to our gaurdian angels and as a result noone is watching over us. If any of this is true than I have one thing to say STUART!!!! YOU SON OF A ...NICE LADY OF IMMACULATE CONCEPTION.