So, January is coming to an end. Thank God. This has been one crazy month. starting with the no raise, no Christmas bonus and the fact I had to close at my job on New Years Eve and be back the next morning on New Years Day at 8 AM.
As you may have read in my previous posts it has been a long month. I have my chin up and my hopes high that things are going to be great. Why? Well, because that's the attitude I need.
I just came back from Sacramento. I was visiting Suzanne for her 26th birthday. It was good. The place she's living now is near her old college so she showed me a lot of places she used to hang out. We went to her favorite Thai restaurant for her birthday and then we got a cake. She got to watch anything she wanted that night and for some reason she picked Star Wars 4 A New Hope. I think she wanted to watch it because thats the one she remembers the least and she really wanted to watch that new Family Guy Star Wars movie that came out and she thought she would laugh more if her memory was refreshed.
Here's one of my favorite conversations that night
(We're watching the movie and C-3PO and R2-D2 just crash landed on a Desert Planet)
Suzanne
Where do you think they are?
Me
Tattooine
Suzanne
What? No, where do you think they filmed this
Me
Oh!
Maybe you had to be there. Anyways she said I made it sound like I was saying "Duh, their on Tattoiine!". Whatevs
During that weekend we went and saw Atonement. It's from the same people that did the Pride and Prejudice remake. Any ways Pride and Prejudice was great and Atonement I thought was close to awful. I can't believe it's nominated for best picture. I thought the movie was all over the place. I didn't like it very much at all.
I woke up sick Monday which kind of sucked. Ear ache, sore throat, coughing. That sucked. But the day was still good. We got a lot of free stuff at the local mall just because our licenses showed that we were from out of town. We had a free Cold Stone. That was nice.
The next morning I was a little sicker. I left at 6AM and drove to my job in Burbank for 1:30. It was a rough day. I called out of work today because I was so sick. I've been feeling a little mind crazy. I'm congested and tired and......I think Im going to go before I ramble on about random things. Goodnight everyone.
By: Jeans Pants | Wednesday, January 30, 2008 at 11:52 PM | | 
I read tonight that crazy baptists promise to picket and protest Heath Ledgers funeral because of his role in Brokeback Mountain. Oh thank God, huh? That's going to be time and energy well spent. Why are people so psychotic?
By: Jeans Pants | Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 12:31 AM | |
To the angry person who left me a comment below under anonymous. I don't mind negative comments at all. But your comment didn't really make sense to me. You said to me "maybe there not the problem it's you" referring to me having problems with people. I can't remember once in that last post blaming anyone for my problems. Secondly, you mentioned I had a twisted world view. What are you referring to? The fact I get up everyday and tackle the world as opposed to laying in bed all day, playing video games, drinking the night away. Isn't that what the majority of most people do? I'm just saying.
To Mollye my ex. We didn't break up because you gave me too much attention. Just wanted to make that clear. I have decided to not bring up our break up on this blog. I know you have done it tons of times in the past on your blog but I would appreciate you not bringing us up on mine. In the last post I mentioned you as lecturing me. I didn't say what it was about. Nor do I believe people here would be upset at the fact that you lectured me. We're ex's, it's bound to happen. All I said was it happened. Maybe I should have stressed the fact that I hoped it wouldn't have.
Kind of off topic, just so you all know, I do have an idea as to what I'm doing.I think in my last post when I mentioned "I have no idea what Im doing", I think I was just venting and tired. What I am doing is just trying to pay off some bills before I try and tackle something that could potentially put me more in debt. I've sold just about everything I've owned and put just about all of it towards debt. I used to love watching DVD's including blu ray on my 30 inch HD widescreen TV. I now enjoy watching burnt DVD's on a 19 panasonic. I've sold almost all of my DVD's. I used to love heat. Well, now I live in a guest house that's really tiny that costs me $450 a month. That's with utilities included, but no heat. And I have to shower and use the bathroom inside the main house. I've sold my collectible figurines and toys. The materialistic Justin is gone. I'm happy and proud of who I am becomming.
Plus, if you look at the world around us, the majority of people who are successful drink, cheat, lie, back stab etc. Take my job I have now. Every manager is sleeping with each other and there all married to different people. Their successful, and i don't want to be just like them at all. I am 29. I am old. Some of you think I might be running out of time. I don't.
To everyone else, starting this Wednesday night at 10:00 pm which is 22 hours from now. I am starting a vlogger troup. I have 6 people meeting tomorrow and we're going to talk about sketches we have written, a name for us, a URL domain name and when were going to film. We have about 4 sketches lined up already so hopefully tomorrow nights meeting will be a success(I'm running it so fingers crossed) and hopefully you'll see our work soon. I'll keep you updated.
Thank you all again for listening to me. Thank you for all the comments.
By: Jeans Pants | Tuesday, January 22, 2008 at 11:42 PM | |
I am so sick and tired of my life. I can't get a single thing to go right. No matter what I do I fail. Nice guys finish last. Why is that? Why is it that the backstabbing asshole gets the money, girls, fame and fantasy life. Why is it that whenever I try and do something simple it turns into a catastrophe.
Let's talk about this month shall we. I come back from Christmas break to be informed that I will not be receiving a raise this year. I'm then told we get no Christmas bonus. That same night I get some good/sad news. My girlfriend Suzanne, who I love and adore, has an interview for a job...in Sacramento. I was so happy that she had the opportunity to get out of out shitty job we both share and she hates LA so I'm happy she can get out of LA. Im sad for selfish reasons, I'm going to miss her. So a week passes and she gets the job. She leaves on the 22nd of January.
I go to work one day to be told that my availability cant be honored anymore and Im going to need my life to be open to my job or else I could lose it. Well, my job sucks, but I need it. So Im opening my availability for them.
My mom called me a few weeks ago. She nonchalantly brings up how my brother is getting surgery on his face. I responded with "What, when did this happen?" She explains she told me about it months ago. Now, I do forget some things but I wouldn't forget my brother having surgery on his face.
My grandmother every Christmas/birthday sends me $3,000. Yup, that's what I said. this year she decided to give me this nice long lecture about how Im not going anywhere in life and I'll never be an actor and I'll never make it in the entertainment industry. Then she sends me a letter that says the exact same thing. Awesome!
My ex-girlfriends birthday was a couple days ago. I got the courage to give her a call and wish her a happy birthday....that didn't go to well either. Got some more lecturing.
Have I mentioned yet that anytime my mom or other grandmother(not the $3,000 one) find out I'm having a tough time they just want me to come home. Seems sweet enough. Only the last time I went home my mom canceled her car insurance and made me chauffeurs her around. She also left me in charge of my grandmother who needs a nurse, that's funny. Last time I checked my mom was a registered nurse. I don't think I would have come home if I knew I would have to clean my grandmothers area and all that.
My goal for January was to go back into extra work. Even though its kind of sucky work. I liked it when I did it. I always felt like I was a part of something pretty big....Well theres a strike so I can't do that I guess.
My camcorder plug got lost recently. Which means, no video blogging.
Final Cut Pro (my editing software) isn't working. I need time to visit my buddy Mike and ask him to take a look at it.
My new house mate is kind of a pain. She just yelled at me for leaving the door unlocked even though I'm sitting right here in front of the door.
I'm also getting pretty sick and tired of people saying I'm not independent. What exactly does that fucking mean? Let me just say that within the last 7 months I have held in and dealt with so much shit on my own. When I usually had a problem I did my very best to solve it myself. Not even Suzanne knew about a lot of the stuff that was going on with me. This was my way of trying to be stronger and trying to take care of myself. That might be why I've disappeared from some of your lives for so long. I didn't want to call you and just vent. That's also why I haven't blogged in so long. I really didn't want to use this blog to vent anymore...well, I can't fight it. I guess this is why I have a blog, for things like this.
With all honesty people, I'm scared. I'm not afraid to be a lone. But I'm afraid of life itself. I'm tired all the time. Sometimes Im too scared to get up and I just want to lay in bed. I'm scared that life is going to hit me with another punch. I used to feel like I had it all figured out. I guess I don't. I'm writing this on my blog now in hopes I get out everything I have built up inside me. I don't want my last few days with Suzanne to be sad ones. So hopefully writing this will make me feel more free. We'll see.
In closing I would just like to say that I have been a very weak person this past week and Suzanne has been there for me every step of the way. She's seen my hurting and has done nothing but been supportive for me. She's a great person whom I am very happy to be with.
I do love her a lot. I have no idea what part she'll play in my life in the long run. All I know is that right now we are good and I am very happy. So, Suzanne, Thank you and I will miss you a lot.
By: Jeans Pants | Saturday, January 19, 2008 at 5:49 PM | |
