The Vote that Doesn't Count
Justin
Today's the day to make a big difference in the world. I'm talking huge. Today's the day liberals get to go out and vote their man or woman into to office
Colbert
If your going to make a difference it better be male
Justin
It doesnt have to be a male to make a difference
Colbert
Yeah, OK
Justin
What are you saying?
Colbert
OK let's say we vote a woman into office, she'll just be on the phone all day
Justin
That's sexist
Colbert
She'll just be chatting it up with all her bitches and Ho's
Justin
I dont think woman call their friends bitches and ho's.
Colbert
Plus have you ever seen a woman put on makeup.
Justin
Yeah, so what?
Colbert
Think about how late all those press conferences will start.
Justin
Oh knock it off. First, they have people that do their makeup for them
Colbert
That makes it even worse
Justin
Do I even want to ask
Colbert
That means they'll be demanding their stylists to dye their hair everyday.
Justin
No they wont
Colbert
Everyday they'll have a new perm
Justin
Can we change the subject please?
Colbert
Now remember. Republicans vote today and Democrats vote tomorrow
Justin
That's not true either.
Colbert
Yes it is. Oh and to all the Democrats out there, all your precincts have changed
Justin
I can't wait to here this one.
Colbert
Instead of schools, you will all be voting at the nearest "Live Nude Girls" strip clubs.
Justin
That's where we vote?
Colbert
Yeah!
Justin
Well I guess that wouldnt be to bad if you know, it were true
Colbert
I said nude girls not nude dudes. You'd have a terrible time
Justin
That's not true
Colbert
Why are you so defensive? Is it because the country wont let you
get married?
Justin
Well hopefully all that will start to change after today
Colbert
So you're not denying it
Justin
I'm not gay
Colbert
You claim you want to help them, yet you act ashamed to be one. Did you even vote yet today?
Justin
I sent in me absentee balot
Colbert
Ah, the vote that doesnt count
Justin
What?
Colbert
Every election, after everythings been tallied and they already announce a winner they
claim there going to go into the absentee ballots to see if it makes a change. We never hear the results. Your vote doesnt count and thank god.
Justin
I'm not....., you know we got to go, but is their any other kind of sexist remark or something racist you'd like to add before we go?
Colbert
No I'm good for today
Justin
Goodbye everyone
Today's the day to make a big difference in the world. I'm talking huge. Today's the day liberals get to go out and vote their man or woman into to office
Colbert
If your going to make a difference it better be male
Justin
It doesnt have to be a male to make a difference
Colbert
Yeah, OK
Justin
What are you saying?
Colbert
OK let's say we vote a woman into office, she'll just be on the phone all day
Justin
That's sexist
Colbert
She'll just be chatting it up with all her bitches and Ho's
Justin
I dont think woman call their friends bitches and ho's.
Colbert
Plus have you ever seen a woman put on makeup.
Justin
Yeah, so what?
Colbert
Think about how late all those press conferences will start.
Justin
Oh knock it off. First, they have people that do their makeup for them
Colbert
That makes it even worse
Justin
Do I even want to ask
Colbert
That means they'll be demanding their stylists to dye their hair everyday.
Justin
No they wont
Colbert
Everyday they'll have a new perm
Justin
Can we change the subject please?
Colbert
Now remember. Republicans vote today and Democrats vote tomorrow
Justin
That's not true either.
Colbert
Yes it is. Oh and to all the Democrats out there, all your precincts have changed
Justin
I can't wait to here this one.
Colbert
Instead of schools, you will all be voting at the nearest "Live Nude Girls" strip clubs.
Justin
That's where we vote?
Colbert
Yeah!
Justin
Well I guess that wouldnt be to bad if you know, it were true
Colbert
I said nude girls not nude dudes. You'd have a terrible time
Justin
That's not true
Colbert
Why are you so defensive? Is it because the country wont let you
get married?
Justin
Well hopefully all that will start to change after today
Colbert
So you're not denying it
Justin
I'm not gay
Colbert
You claim you want to help them, yet you act ashamed to be one. Did you even vote yet today?
Justin
I sent in me absentee balot
Colbert
Ah, the vote that doesnt count
Justin
What?
Colbert
Every election, after everythings been tallied and they already announce a winner they
claim there going to go into the absentee ballots to see if it makes a change. We never hear the results. Your vote doesnt count and thank god.
Justin
I'm not....., you know we got to go, but is their any other kind of sexist remark or something racist you'd like to add before we go?
Colbert
No I'm good for today
Justin
Goodbye everyone
There
I loved the "democrats vote tomorrow" line - that was slick.
If I lived in the US, I could vote for this. Alas, I don't.
So I can't.
This is the worst comment ever :)
Hey, thanks for the coment the other day. Meat Loaf's new album is Bat Out of Hell Three, in shops now. It deffinatly rocks!
hi justine! i was a good democrat and voted today! hehe..
hi justine! i was a good democrat and voted today! hehe..
marry me