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Net Neutrality starring Justin and Colbert and Stuart Christ

note: to anyone new to this site there is a short description of who everyone is on the right hand side of this blog. Justin is mostly me, Colbert is my dark side and Stuart Christ is my idea of what Jesus's older brother would have been like if he existed and failed as the first messiah.He be a stoned loser living in his younger brothers shadow.

Justin
Hello everyone

Colbert
Greeting's heathens

Justin
heathens ?

Colbert
Uh huh

Justin
Why Heathens?

Colbert
It's a mainly blue house now Justin

Justin
And so it is.

Colbert
Anyone who believes in God's work would have voted red

Justin
I don't know about that.

Colbert
Well I do

Justin
Ok, good for you. I guess. Alright We're here to talk about Net Neutrality

Colbert
What what whatity?

Justin
Net neutrality.

Colbert
Making things up now?

Justin
No

Colbert
So desperate for a topic that you're going to imagine a problem just so we can argue

Justin
Why do you think we'll argue?

Colbert
I don't know. We tend to disagree. It's not me, it's the writer.

Justin
Net neutrality is what gives us the right to blog. It's the right to say what we want
and do what we want. Imagine going on youtube and only seeing videos that have
been approved by some corporate organization. Yeah that might not sound so bad, but right now everyone has the right to post whatever they want. Some people have something political to say. Some people want to just voice their concerns on whatever and the internet
is their source for that. Some people just want to post videos of them getting kicked in
the balls. The point is that this awesome privilege could all go away. Picture this: The internet, now owned by Pepsi. The internet brought to you by McDonalds.

Colbert
That's not so bad

Justin
What do you mean?

Colbert
I'll just buy it

Justin
You'll buy it? Do you have millions of dollars?

Colbert
Ok, maybe we'll buy it!!! How much do you have?

Justin
Me? I dont know. negative 20,000 dollars

Colbert
Ok and I have about 1500 dollars........Ok maybe we wont buy it.

Stuart
What are we talking about?

Justin
Net Neutrality

Stuart
What what whatitiy?

Justin
I'm not going to explain it again. Just read about 10 lines above.

Stuart
Ok give me a minute

Justin
Listen, we may lose...

Stuart
Hold on, Im not done reading. It's hard to read this when you're fucked up, and I'm totally fucked up

Justin
Ok...

Stuart
I had like these cookies last night, wow like, I think I saw Jesus...HA, get it

Colbert
I do get it

Stuart
...it's because I'm his brother

Justin
Did you finish yet?

Stuart
That's what she said!

Justin
Did you fucking finish reading yet?!!!

Stuart
Jeez, yeah I'm done Pacino. God this is a PG rated post. Now a PG-13 and you used up all the fucks we were allowed to use you fucking...

Justin
Moving on. As I was saying, we here at Jeanspants could get shutdown

Colbert
Good!

Justin
What?

Colbert
Yeah good. Only loser junkies would have read this far into the post anyways...

Stuart
Hey I'm a loser junkie and I haven't read this and I don't plan too

Colbert
Ah, touche. Plus the only fans of this site are queers like that guy over at "Caliblog" or that girl over at "blackcatinc" or that "Distractions" girl or "El Pablo Loco" etc

Justin
First: They're not queer. Caliblog has a girlfriend for one...

Stuart
I heard he pays her

Justin
Shut up! Second: don't call people queer. Especially people that visit this site. And even if they were gay does that really matter?

Colbert
Of course it matters. Ask Stuart

Stuart
What?

Colbert
Tell Justin where the gays are going to burn for eternity when they die

Stuart
Heaven

Colbert
See!!! Wait What?!

Stuart
It doesn't matter who you sleep with. That has nothing to do with the heaven requirement.

Colbert
Damn you Christ!!! I mean Damn you Stuart!!! I can't believe it. The Democrats have succeeded. They've corrupted God.

Stuart
Colbert I've bet you've never been with a girl

Colbert
Oh please, I've been with plenty. Like 17 or something

Stuart
Plenty? Sex out of wedlock? That's a sin. Maybe you'll burn in hell.

Colbert
I was married to all of them

Justin
17 ex-wives?

Stuart
Dude just end this so I can get shitfaced and Colbert can go be racist and you can do what you do. As Colbert said, I don't think any body's still reading.

Justin
Ok, so below is a 10 minute documentary titled Humanity Lobotomy. It will give a much better description of what is going on with net neutrality


There

  1. Blogger Trailerboy | 2:20 AM |  

    entertaining. i was dozing in and out during the video, but if you read my latest post, i'm partially intoxicated at the moment. but the point is, this net neutrality nonsense sounds just like that, nonsense. you can't sensor the people, we have the right to be heard. and by one of these big companies taking over, we would lose that right. glad to see its getting the shaft.

  2. Blogger Mike Ambs | 10:32 AM |  

    Yes! We've finally corrupted God! Mission accomplished.

  3. Blogger Inez | 9:26 PM |  

    really good post justine. Yay you mentioned me in it, that's twice now!

  4. Blogger Manda | 11:22 AM |  

    so.. he's "playing" me??? why do i always find out like this!?

  5. Blogger Claire | 12:12 PM |  

    Did you know God is a)female, b)balck with dreads and c) invented the coffee shurb. Oddly like Whoppiee Goldberg in A Merry Muppet Christmas Movie.