I Have Fan's, And They're Scary.

It was bound to happen. Once you start a blog, a place people can find out about you, Who you are, what you do for fun and what your interests are, people will hunt you down and stalk you. Sometimes they try to corner you and get in your underwears. Now I've been tracking the hits on my blog and I get hit 2,200 times a day. Yeah I know, impressive. What's both flattering and scary at the same time is that now I have a fans.

What's scary about having fans? Well nothing if you like your life being watched all the time. When I wake up they're tons of screaming fans, mainly beautiful woman, all over my car waiting to touch a piece of me. It's not comfortable. So I'd like to post a few pics of the fans that freak me out. The fans that feel they they have the need to tear my clothing everytime I walk out of my house. If you see these people around me please, call the police immediatly.


First there's this woman. A school teacher.
This woman can be heard screaming my name from dark alley's. I have no idea why.



Then there's this girl. It''s scary because she has this Peanut shaped belt buckle she throws at my head to knock me unconscious. The weirder part is once she has succeeded with knokcing me out she doesn't do anything. She just leaves me on the ground. Then I wake up with a crazy concussion that just throbs for a week. She's even broken a few of my car windows with that peanut. If you see her anywhere near me you must help me knock her down. The only way to stop her is to destroy the peanut.



I don't know about this girl. I wake up, I walk outside my house and there she is. She always finds a way to make it past my security. By securty I mean shitty apartment gate. It's easy to jump. She's the craziest of them all because she always finds a way to creep up behind me when I least expect it. Like a silent fart.



One day I was with my friend Mike and I was going to take a picture of him when,without warning, she came running up behind him and attacked him. You can see the pain in his face. She took him. I havent seen him since. If you know where my friend Mike is please conatct me. My email is located somewhere on this blog. Right now you're very cold. I've found 2 weaknesses for this individual. Inependant films and farmer's markets.



Here's the last of the stalkers. I don't get it. Love letters and naked pictures arrive from him everyday. It's scary and it makes me sick. If you see this man anywhere near me please, shoot to kill. He sucks.



I hate being this popular and cool.