Dear People of the World

What is it, about some of you, that makes you wake up in the morning pissed off and think to yourself "Hey,I'll go shopping at some retail store and let out all of my emotions on some down on his luck employee.

What is it about some of you that wake up and say " hey hunny, where would you like to go on this beautiful Saturday? Should we take the kids to the beach or a pool, or should we go to a retail store where its obviously super busy? One place we can swim and get a tan. The other place we get sweaty and miserable and just get angry". And how many of those significant others respond with "Lets go to a retail store until we're completly pissed off and take out our pain on some employee who we don't know or give a shit about. While we're there we'll fidn a way to run in his face that we're rich and he's not."

What is it about some people that make them throw what they want at you and say (with attitude) "I want this, how do I buy it?"

Maybe I'm done with people. Maybe I'm just done with the people that live in the area of the store I work at. Maybe it's time to go back to acting. I've applied for a position that would allow me to be off the floor and in front of the computer. I'd be right at home. But if that falls through acting maybe a way to cut back my hours about 2 days a week and try and book myself on shows and movies. I always feel bad when I did extra work because Mollye and my good friend Danny got their degrees in acting and I hate being that guy that's like, "oh hey I can do that too". I just feel when I'm on set that even though I'm making shitty pay, I’m actually doing something. I'm a part of something where millions of people might actually see me. Sometimes in acting, depending on what set you're on, the people in charge can treat you pretty shitty too. In fact sometimes you can get treated like cattle, but at least it's just a few people treating you that way, and you might even learn their name. The customers that shop at my store treat me like shit and I'll never know their name.

Me
Mam, what your looking for is right there

Customer 1
Where

Me
It's on the other side of the gentlemen in the yellow shirt

Customer1
Ok so it's right next to him standing in the yellow shirt

Me
Yes

Customer1
Thanks

(she started heading in the wrong direction)

Me
Where are you going?

Customer1
I thought you said it next to the man in the yellow shirt?

Me
Yeah, he's standing over there

Customer1
Oh I thought you meant the other guy

Me
Which guy

Customer 1
Oh I don't know Where is it again?

Me Jesus it's over there

That last line didn't happen.

Customer 2
How much is delivery

Me
It's $40 dollars for the first 150 pounds and the first 30 miles

Customer 2
So what if I live a block away

Me
So that's less then 30 miles right?

Customer 2
right

Me
What do you think?

Of course I didn't say that last line again either, but here's my new favorite part of my job. It's when I'm standing in the middle of my department and a line forms around. Since the line is round I have no idea where it begins. But I explain the delivery to a random person in the circle. They finish and walk away. Another member of the circle then asks how much delivery is, I explain once again. Then they ask how much is the product Im standing next too. The product has 3 tags because it's sold in 3 parts. Then they walk away. Another voice from the circles asks how much is delivery and how much is that same product and this happens again, and again, and ...well then that's it. There were only 5 customers in the circle but man, why the hell couldn’t any of them pay attention if they all had the same fucking question.

Here's another good one from today

Customer 3
Can I get the " " dresser?

Me
What's the price on it?

Customer 3
It’s 250

Me
How many drawers does it have?

Customer 3
Oh I don't know

Me
Alright then was it white or antique?

Customer 3
Huh, I really don't know. I think antique

Me
Antique? Well Ok ummm , this color your stadning next to is antique

Customer 3
Oh it's the white one then

Me
Wow you really coudln't tell me if what you wanted was white, or not. Interesting

Really, even if you're not sure what antique looks like, you know what white does dont you?

One more quick scene for you. I completely understand customers that are bad with english. There's no rule that says you must learn english before entering the country. I just want to say that sometimes this can be annoying and it can make a short line longer.

Last thing I want to say is people need to leave there savage little animal children at home especially when it's 9pm at night. They dont want to be there and you should be putting them to bed. Stop letting them tear apart what ever the hell they want.
People, you also need to start letting yourselves evolve. Stop acting like the slobby little monkeys your ancestors were and start acting like a human being. Try putting whatever you picked up away or at least stop tearing shit up like you're a fucking caged animal. You're an asshole!!!

Oh one more thing. If you ever whistle to get my attention again...

"I will end you" ~Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting