"A New Breed Of Church" by Stuart Christ

Hello everyone, it's me Stuart. I'm Jesus's older brother. Before Reading this post you should read about me here... you have to scroll down to the post titled "Stuart Christ"


http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=40588571

Long story short, I'm responsible when you have a bad day. We move on. So the other day I was at church. BORING!!! If there's one thing worse than listening to someone preach stories you don't care about, is to hear someone sing it. Why do these ministers insist on singing their sentences? They sound like freaks. Plus it's eerie. I hear that sound and I immediatly think someone's watching me. oooooooohhhhhh shivers.

Another thing that pisses me off is there are statues and pictures all over the place of my dead brother. It's weird sitting there, looking up seeing my tortured, limp brother Jesus hanging there looking down at me. It's kind of morbid, No not morbid, gross. My bro-dawg and myself realize that the idea is that you remember he died for your sins, but honestly we want this to be a happy comfortable place. There needs to be a better symbol like Buddy Christ


Ever see that shit? That's good stuff right there.

Another thing I don't like is that body of Christ stuff. We go up, we form a line and we are handed what is suppose to be a piece of my brother. They put the piece in my mouth and we , well , eat him. Does that seem weird to anyone? If there was a sign from God saying it's ok to be a cannibal I think that would be it.

Tomorrow take the 5 and get off on Fletcher. On the right you'll see a gas station. Pull in there and abot 2pm I'll be handing out pieces of me to eat. It's ok, I'm a Christ.

That piece of "Christ" is so stale too. You would think the son of God would taste great like pizza, or snickers bars or something. I have an idea to fix this problem. The priest guy, whatever says 'get up and get some Christ" just like that too. Now there are three lines to choose from. You and choose Line A, the Nacho Cheese Christ. Line B, the Ranch Christ or Line C , Guacomole Christ. We can all choose our Christ and leave happy.

One last thing I would like to mention is I was the witness to something, well I thought was uncomfortable. A gay member of the church asked a priest for forgiveness for being 'what" he was. I just want to let everyone know that if you're asking forgiveness for being gay than white people better start asking forgiveness for being white, or black people for being black. That's something that get's on our nerves upstairs. Don't ask for forgiveness for that. It's who you are.
If the bible is right about everything than we all better start buying some slaves because according to the bible It's A OK

I'll be working on a new breed of church very soon. Just keep an eye out for it. We'll keep the big T on top so everyone knows we're still a church, the big difference is you'll be hearing loud music like "Carry on My Wayward Son" or "St Elmos Fire". This will be a church that ROCKS!!!