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"A Ban Against all Fags" by Justin Colbert

Ladies and Gentlemen we are living in a time of chaos. A time In which mankind feels they can "choose" to live their life however they want. A time where people of all sexes are putting long cylinder shaped objects in their mouths. I can't even walk out of my house without seeing at least one person standing there with one of them. That's right I'm refering to fags. Fags have been ruining this planets air supply for years. Sometimes when I'm working a person will come up to me and have that distinct horrible smell of fag all over them. This needs to end people. If we let them exist than people are going to start dropping like flies because fags will eat away their lungs.

Something that drives me up the wall is how I will walk by these people and I have to breathe the same air they exhale. Why should I have to lose a day of my life just because I'm forced to co-exist with fags? We're all slowly being murdered by these people that don't give a shit. They dont care about us. I'm sure it's a sin to just be in the presents of a fag and I don't want to rot forever in hell just because you feel you can choose what you can do with your life.

What I'm going to do is come up with an anti - fag organization. If we've all learned something from Batman it was that it's best to dress in the outfit of the thing you hate and fear. So I thought of long white robes with maybe a white hood resembling that of a fag. Our name will be Cigarettes Can Kill. But I'm thinking of replacing each letter with a K. Sure it doesn't make much sense but hey, it's catchier.

People I just went to dictionary.com and read that there is another definition for the word fag. Here...

fag
    1. A student at a British public school who is required to perform menial tasks for a student in a higher class.
    2. A drudge
Well that makes me like the word even less now. No one should be anyone's servant. We need to stop fags from existing. I look forward to living in a time where the word doesn't have to be in the dictionary. Because the word and it's meaning, won't exist anymore.

So people, will you join in my crusade? Will you be strong and stand with me?

...As a side note I asked Jason(another member of this sight) to read through what I wrote. He said to me (through sign language) that people might think I'm refering to fag in the ignorant, homo-phobic sense. I want make clear that that isn't the case. I love the gays, If it wasnt for them my house would have looked horrible when I Traded Spaces back in September. Thier Ok in my books. It's just those fags that get on my nerves.

There

  1. Blogger alumsix | 8:50 PM |  

    You are a straight shooter, j. thats why ive always liked you. A man who stands UP, at attention, erect and postulate, to tell it like it is. Cause hell, it ain't pretty- thats for sure. Life is messy, its confusing, full of conflicting, maybe even guilty feelings/pleasures. But J isn't afraid of silly 'consequences' like, for example, taking it from the man.
    I recently went to my san francisco corner store and spent some money on fags. I thought to myself, "hell, you haven't had any fags in a while, you know- maybe you've forgotten how pleasant a nice long fag can be on a foggy day..."
    And i was disappointed. Sorely disappointed.
    I felt like i had been abused. and what's more- I felt like everyone was looking at me, silently judging. sending little mental daggers.
    'who does he think he is' and, 'that little man needs to keep his faussy little fags to himself' you get the picture.

    i was left with a bad taste in my mouth.

    thanks for speaking such irreverent truth dude.
    c

  2. Anonymous Anonymous | 10:05 AM |  

    Hey Justin, Werent you smoking something akin to a fag the other day???

  3. Blogger angela | 5:44 AM |  

    oh justin, you make me laugh so.

  4. Anonymous Anonymous | 10:32 PM |  

    I enjoyed reading this blog! ...even though I knew what it referred to since the beginning. The only thing I suggest is adding more offensive language in the beginning to really get the juices flowing to the point where they kinda laugh because they were wrong from the start..the length isn't bad. Otherwise, enjoyable. I'm sending this to a friend as well :)

    Jacky from IKEA!!