This blog has been way too depressing for way too long, It's time to cheer me up, Davinci Style

Some friends at work have been just going off about how great The Davinci Code is. Seriously they go on and on about it. You could hear there orgasms from across the street. Anyway they let me borrow the book and honestly Ive been enjoying it immensly. Im only on page 65 but I'd thought I might give you all a brief run down Justin style. Keep in mind, This post is going to be full of spoilers.

Ok so we start off in the Louvre where this old guy (who I dont know is played by in the movie, lets say Steve Carell) is hanging out just minding his own P's and Q's when this killer ( we'll say played by Jason) shows up and is like "Im going to kill you" and Steve Carell is like " No dont kill me" and Jason says something cool like "Pleasant Dreams Bitch" and he kills Steve Carell

We cut to Tom Hanks sleeping in a hotel room it's like midnight and he just went to sleep an hour ago. He gets a call from the from desk and there like " Cast Away theres someone here to see you" and Tom Hanks is like "thats not my name and tell them to leave a message and I'll call them tomorrow" he than hangs up. Than theres another call and its the front desk again and Tom Hanks is like "What" and the front desk is like "houston we have a problem and he's heading up to your room right now". Tom Hanks than hears a knock and he's like "Fuck". Tom opens the door and this detective guy (we'll say is Johnny Depp) is like "hey theres been a murder" and he shows Tom a picture of the dead body and Toms like "No not Steve Carell lets go".

Than the scene changes to an albino we'll call him "Powder". The albino likes to hurt himself and not only that but he was horribly abused as a child by his parents and so he murdered them, left town and was found by a priest.

So now we cut to the priest leaving New York (we'll say he's Patrick Stewart). Patrick Stewart is a member of Opus Dei which I assume will pay off later lets get back to the louvre. Patrick Stewart is on his way to meet "Powder"

Tom Hanks is now at the Louvre with Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp is like this is Chief from the movie "The Professional". "The Professional" is like come with me we'll shoot the shit and talk about this dead guy. Tom Hanks and "The Professional" look at the body and notice a numeric code and a pentagram symbol I believe drawn in blood layed near the body. I'll have to reread. But the professional is like "thats satanic" and Tom Hanks is like "no it's spiritual from before Christ" . Than Tom Hanks tries to attack the christians by talking about all there cover ups but "The Professional" aint haven it. He's like "Christians are good people yada yada yada" . Than "Amelie" shows up and shes the cryptographer. She hands Tom Hanks her phone and has him listen to a message she had specially made for him that says " your in trouble get the fuck outa dodge" .

Oh I forgot to mention that Johnny Depp is listening in on every word Tom Hanks is saying.

Thats as far as I've gotten. Good Slimes.