Click To Play(please read after watching) Oh look there's already an update since I posted 10 minutes ago. Someone has come to the aid of Michael Richards. Can you guess who it is? Yup, it's Mel Gibson.
http://news.aol.com/entertainment/movies/articles/_a/mel-gibson-feels-michael-richards-pain/20061129172609990001I think these two should teach seminars. Seminars where they gas jews and hang black people.
Ok maybe that was a bit too far. There not that bad, right? But if I was caught saying something racist and I needed to fix my image the last people I would want on my side is Mel Gibson.,Hitler, David Duke or George W Bush.
By: Jeans Pants | Wednesday, November 29, 2006 at 6:13 PM | | 
WARNING:
This vlog was rushed. I did two takes, this is the second and better of the two.
There is also a poorly executed Charlie Brown joke I screwed up but still hope you all get.
By: Jeans Pants | Monday, November 27, 2006 at 7:18 PM | |
First: the review. It was a well rounded, good execution of what felt like a script that had a lot to say with very little time to tell it. Based on a 400 page book, the movie comes in at just about 2 hours and what's interesting is that it felt long but also not long enough. I ,never having read the book, knew a lot of what was happening and what was going to happen. I also (maybe through just me browsing the internet) new a lot of the information the story had to tell me. In a way I may have not have been the best audience for this movie. Every second I can I try to avoid eating at any fast food chain. I do give in to places like Taco Bell and Rally's which is not a good thing, but even with that said, I was already on the movies side before it started. I feel this movie is important to be shown to those who either eat fast food on a regular basis and don't have a clue about what's going on behind the scenes. People need to realize that what their eating is purely and simply shit, literally, and this movie can help them see that. The movie gets a B+
The only part of the movie that distracted me was the acting of Avril Lavigne. It was brought to my attention that if it was any other actress in that role that I probably wouldn't have analyzed her acting, and this is true. But one night on Late Night with Conan O'Brian, Conan was asked why he doesn't put out a music cd. In case you don't know Conan is fluent in the acoustic and electric guitar as well as other instruments, and he can sing. Conan responded to the question with " I'm a stand up comic and TV show host. This is what I wanted to do and work for and I shouldn't be able to put out a cd just because of who I am when there are so many artists out there working there asses off just trying to get anyone to hear their music". Ok that might not have been the exact quote but it was something that stayed with me and maybe scarred me. Avril was hardly in the movie so it obviously didn't ruin it for me at all, but every time she was on screen my mind went straight to Conan and I just over analyzed her. Unfair-sure but I still didn't like her. It's true that the director Richard Linklater might have requested her for the role, I just hope she didn't get the part because she's Avril. I'm sure she didn't have to try out. Plus you're talking to one of the few 27 year old men that thinks Avril Lavigne's music really isn't that bad.
Now whenever an artist crosses over from music to screen or vice versa I am extra critical. For me an actor can make or break a film and or scene. Chemistry isn't just from actor to actor it's also actor to screenplay and I feel a lot of people that are doing both should stick to one thing. Madonna should not just perform. Evita was great but Swept Away was scary. Harry Connick Jr doesn't bug me either way. I'm not a fan but a lot of people like him both ways. Keanu Reeves, actor vs his group Dogstar, both should go away.
The question was brought up "what about Jack Black and Tenacious D?" In case you don't know, Jack Black has been an actor since the early 90's and 1 half of the group Tenacious D since 1999. Tenacious D was first an HBO TV show creation back in 1999 by creators Jack Black, Kyle Gass, David Cross and Bob Odenkirk. Much like what happened with "Spinal Tap", a fake group became an audience demand and in 2002 they released a cd based mostly on songs that were performed on the TV show. Close to that time Jack Black became a hit with "Shallow Hal" and "Orange County". Both his song career and acting success happened at the same time. It's hard to tell what came first, the Orange or the D. Either way I feel Jack Black is great either way.
Now I would like to end this post on a completely different note. I would like to tell my friend Steve Woolf to stay out of my neighborhood. I woke up the other day and saw this....
Seriously buddy, tell your gang that this is getting old. I've started a new gang to counteract yours. You might have heard of us we're called "The Pants" and you better watch out, cause we got Jason Voorhees and a relative of Jesus Christ on our side Bitch!!!
I will leave you with this Tenacious D music video which was directed by Marcus Von Bueler AKA Spike Jonze.
By: Jeans Pants | Friday, November 24, 2006 at 11:31 PM | |
To Mollye, Mike, Amanda, Scott, Gisella, Angela, Danny, Shawn, Melissa,Trailerboy, Maria Maria, Inez, Pablo, Chris, Claire, El Buki, Steve Woolf, Zadi, Rick Rey, Michelle, Rehtorissa, Sonia, Theresa, Pope of Chilli Town, and to everyone else that visits my blog
Happy Thanksgiving!!!!
By: Jeans Pants | Thursday, November 23, 2006 at 12:46 PM | |
note: to anyone new to this site there is a short description of who everyone is on the right hand side of this blog. Justin is mostly me, Colbert is my dark side and Stuart Christ is my idea of what Jesus's older brother would have been like if he existed and failed as the first messiah.He be a stoned loser living in his younger brothers shadow.
Justin
Hello everyone
Colbert
Greeting's heathens
Justin
heathens ?
Colbert
Uh huh
Justin
Why Heathens?
Colbert
It's a mainly blue house now Justin
Justin
And so it is.
Colbert
Anyone who believes in God's work would have voted red
Justin
I don't know about that.
Colbert
Well I do
Justin
Ok, good for you. I guess. Alright We're here to talk about Net Neutrality
Colbert
What what whatity?
Justin
Net neutrality.
Colbert
Making things up now?
Justin
No
Colbert
So desperate for a topic that you're going to imagine a problem just so we can argue
Justin
Why do you think we'll argue?
Colbert
I don't know. We tend to disagree. It's not me, it's the writer.
Justin
Net neutrality is what gives us the right to blog. It's the right to say what we want
and do what we want. Imagine going on youtube and only seeing videos that have
been approved by some corporate organization. Yeah that might not sound so bad, but right now everyone has the right to post whatever they want. Some people have something political to say. Some people want to just voice their concerns on whatever and the internet
is their source for that. Some people just want to post videos of them getting kicked in
the balls. The point is that this awesome privilege could all go away. Picture this: The internet, now owned by Pepsi. The internet brought to you by McDonalds.
Colbert
That's not so bad
Justin
What do you mean?
Colbert
I'll just buy it
Justin
You'll buy it? Do you have millions of dollars?
Colbert
Ok, maybe we'll buy it!!! How much do you have?
Justin
Me? I dont know. negative 20,000 dollars
Colbert
Ok and I have about 1500 dollars........Ok maybe we wont buy it.
Stuart
What are we talking about?
Justin
Net Neutrality
Stuart
What what whatitiy?
Justin
I'm not going to explain it again. Just read about 10 lines above.
Stuart
Ok give me a minute
Justin
Listen, we may lose...
Stuart
Hold on, Im not done reading. It's hard to read this when you're fucked up, and I'm totally fucked up
Justin
Ok...
Stuart
I had like these cookies last night, wow like, I think I saw Jesus...HA, get it
Colbert
I do get it
Stuart
...it's because I'm his brother
Justin
Did you finish yet?
Stuart
That's what she said!
Justin
Did you fucking finish reading yet?!!!
Stuart
Jeez, yeah I'm done Pacino. God this is a PG rated post. Now a PG-13 and you used up all the fucks we were allowed to use you fucking...
Justin
Moving on. As I was saying, we here at Jeanspants could get shutdown
Colbert
Good!
Justin
What?
Colbert
Yeah good. Only loser junkies would have read this far into the post anyways...
Stuart
Hey I'm a loser junkie and I haven't read this and I don't plan too
Colbert
Ah, touche. Plus the only fans of this site are queers like that guy over at "Caliblog" or that girl over at "blackcatinc" or that "Distractions" girl or "El Pablo Loco" etc
Justin
First: They're not queer. Caliblog has a girlfriend for one...
Stuart
I heard he pays her
Justin
Shut up! Second: don't call people queer. Especially people that visit this site. And even if they were gay does that really matter?
Colbert
Of course it matters. Ask Stuart
Stuart
What?
Colbert
Tell Justin where the gays are going to burn for eternity when they die
Stuart
Heaven
Colbert
See!!! Wait What?!
Stuart
It doesn't matter who you sleep with. That has nothing to do with the heaven requirement.
Colbert
Damn you Christ!!! I mean Damn you Stuart!!! I can't believe it. The Democrats have succeeded. They've corrupted God.
Stuart
Colbert I've bet you've never been with a girl
Colbert
Oh please, I've been with plenty. Like 17 or something
Stuart
Plenty? Sex out of wedlock? That's a sin. Maybe you'll burn in hell.
Colbert
I was married to all of them
Justin
17 ex-wives?
Stuart
Dude just end this so I can get shitfaced and Colbert can go be racist and you can do what you do. As Colbert said, I don't think any body's still reading.
Justin
Ok, so below is a 10 minute documentary titled Humanity Lobotomy. It will give a much better description of what is going on with net neutrality
By: Jeans Pants | Tuesday, November 21, 2006 at 11:25 PM | |
By: Jeans Pants | Sunday, November 19, 2006 at 3:14 AM | |
By: Jeans Pants | Friday, November 17, 2006 at 11:58 PM | |
Pick your title!
Walking through the mall a week or so ago I couldnt help notice 4 giant posters promoting the new movie "Deck the Halls". These same 4 posters were scattered all over the mall. Hanging from the ceiling, on the walls, in the bathrooms. OK maybe not in the bathrooms.
A few days afterwards I got to see the trailer for this upcomign shtifest and boy am I excited. 2 fathers battling it out to see who has better Christmas decorations? I haven't been this excited since my last car accident. The last time I anticipated something like this was when a dentist was coming towards me with a drill. This movie will be great.
Earlier this week I went to another mall and these posters were hanging there too. I can't get away from them. Let me show you 3 of the 4 posters.
Above is a picture of the Dad's. The poster just shouts out "Jolly Good Fun" doesn't it? Or maybe it's shouting "Wacky Dad's are funny". Oh! It yells holiday fun. That's it! Anytime I see 2 acclaimed actors on sleds it's hard to resist temptation.
Speaking of temptation. Wow, this poster screams under-age sex. Pedophiles watch out. When guys are asked by a girl to see this movie you know this is the poster that convinces them to go. In a guys mind its..." oh this movie looks shitty, but there's hot 16 year olds in it".
Last poster. So is this poster saying" look at our nutty husbands, this is one wacky holiday" or is it saying "look we got Kristen Davis from Sex and the City and Broadway great Kristen Chenoweth" or is it saying "Milfs"? Here's a tagline: This Holiday Season, Get Sexy!
I feel that all the actors in this movie are way better than this. I don't like thinking that Ferris Bueller, The Penguin, Charlotte York, Glenda the good Witch from the North and Maebe Funke are all in LOOR movie. What's LOOR you ask?It's like LOL. It's Laughing Out Of Respect. I made it up. Catchy huh?
Ok, so it's unfare to judge a book by it's cover right? Nah, The cover sucks and the random pages I was able to check out (thank you trailer) looked horrible. If this was a book the pages would be better used as toilet paper then reading material.
Wow , after looking at those last 2 pictures again, I retract everything I said. I mean look at those posters. I apologize to you all. Who wants to go with me November 22nd? Anyone?
By: Jeans Pants | at 12:10 AM | |
Long story short I got together with my amigo's the other and this is what hapened
By: Jeans Pants | Wednesday, November 15, 2006 at 6:07 PM | |
By: Jeans Pants | Tuesday, November 14, 2006 at 2:26 PM | |
(don't read below until after you've finished watching the video)
Justin
I forgot to mention that since 9/11, we should have been prepared for anything. Anything being of course another terrorist attack or even let's say, a Hurricane. Now obviously our Bush and our intelligence that has become far superior since 9/11 failed us again with Katrina. So I guess we can add the 1600 people that died as a result from Katrina to the 57,000 people that I mentioned in the above video. Etimated total of 58,600 people have died since 9/11.
Colbert
Wait a minute! Don't blame The prez for those deaths too! Listen, anyone living in hurricane country knows the consequences. It's the people's own fault. Don't add that 1600 to the imaginary 57,000 death toll you came up with. We'll just take the 1600 and subtract it from the math I did earlier. So, we last left off with zero people dying since 9/11. Now we take that 1600 that Justin has tacked on there, subtract it from the zero I have and, it looks as if negative 1600 people have died since Bush has been in office. So the way I look at it, Bush has a 1600 person free window to kill whoever he wants before any of it actually counts.
Justin
Well you say it like that then you're just wiping out the existance of people.
Colbert
Well you do what you need to do for oil.
Justin
Lovely! Hiring you was a good idea
Colbert
Why's that?
Justin
It makes me look good.
Leaving the script world for a minute. Doesn't 58,600 people give you goosebumps. It sounds like a movie. I have a theory. I bet you that before Bush leaves office he'll be responsible for the genocide of one of three groups. Either the Iraqi's, the American people, or the American troops.
Not possible, or not probable? Of course it's far fetched to think that way. I dont really think he can wipe out a whole group. That's giving him too much credit. But the events he has set forth will forever be in our hands. We, the Americans, the greatest country on earth, the country that is better then the rest has started a war to which there is no end. Would it be a better war if we just stayed in Afgahnistan? No! We should be smarter then war. Why return bloodshed when it's been brought to your door.? We might as well teach kids to get revenge on every bully in school. But when they get revenge, they should enter the Bully's house when he's least expecting it, kill his parents, rape his sister, then murder the evil do-er. Isnt that what we do?
By: Jeans Pants | Friday, November 10, 2006 at 1:39 AM | |
Justin
Knock; Knock
Colbert
Who's there?
Justin
You Lost
Colbert
You lost, who?
Justin
You lost seats in the House and the Senate. that's what you Lost...
Colbert
Oh you think you're so funny. You and your freedom hating team of Bin Laden loving liberals.
The American people are smart. They'll V for Vendetta your ass
Justin
The American people are smarter than I had given them credit for
Colbert
Oh so you both hate America and think their stupid. You make me sick
Justin
I never said that
Colbert
Don't worry, you'll be tasting the blade from God's scimitar for the next 2 years. The Republicans are like Jesus. Last night was our crusifixtion. In 2 days we will return more powerful than, well, God!
Justin
That's a mighty bold statement. 2 days huh?
Colbert
Ok maybe not 2 days. That's kind of soon. Do me a favor?
Justin
Yeah?
Colbert
When you get to hell, call me. I always wanted to know what the eternal depths of hell's fire tastes like.
Justin
When I get to hell I'll convince the devil that Gods making weapons of mass destruction that way we'll invade your ass causing thousands and thousands of angels to lose their lives.
Colbert
Lives?
Justin
Are angels alive?
Colbert
I dont know
Justin
Yeah I dont care. Good day Colbert
Colbert
Wait I'm not
Justin
I said Good Day!
By: Jeans Pants | Wednesday, November 08, 2006 at 9:40 AM | |
Colbert
Bad news Papa Bear
Justin
Yeah what's that?
Colbert
Britney Spears filed for divorce from K-Fed
Justin
Ok?
Colbert
You can just add that to the John Kerry pile. Now you liberals are in
more trouble then ever
Justin
What?
Colbert
The break up of any Hollywood couple brings liberals down. They'll lock themselves
in their houses, sit in front of the TV with Bon Bon's, call a friend and just cry. That means liberals will be staying home today.
Justin
First, as of right now we've gained governorship in Ohio and we got Senate seats in PA, RI and OH.
Colbert
Cheating again I see
Justin
Again! Again? When did we cheat before? We keep losing. Even when conservatives
fuck up the easiest thing like attacking the people that attacked us. How do you fuck that up? Yet you still did, and you still won. Don't bring it here. besides, Britney Spears is a conservative.
Colbert
What?
Justin
Yeah, way to set an example with your wonderful whore role models like Spears or the Bush twins or Barbara Bush or Ann Coulter.
Colbert
Spears is a conservative?
Justin
Yeeeaaaaahhhhhh!
Colbert
Oh man, I hope she 's OK. Maybe I should call her. What do you think?
Justin
Yeah do that, give her some lovin. Her and that diseased vag...
Colbert
Whoa Whoa,! What's going on? When did the tables turn here?
Justin
Looks here we just won gubernatorial races in NY and Mass. Oh and we
took the Governorship in Mass
Colbert
Wait! That means...
Justin
Yup, Gay marriage might spread
Colbert
Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! That skeazy, slick Michael J Fox with his herpes
disease or whatever he has is to blame.
Justin
Looks like we've almost got both houses
Colbert
Damn you Jim Caviezel!!!
Justin
Jim Caviezel?
Colbert
He's doing a horrible job looking over us
Justin
Looking over ....? Oh right, because he's Jesus. You're and idiot
By: Jeans Pants | Tuesday, November 07, 2006 at 8:18 PM | |
Justin
Today's the day to make a big difference in the world. I'm talking huge. Today's the day liberals get to go out and vote their man or woman into to office
Colbert
If your going to make a difference it better be male
Justin
It doesnt have to be a male to make a difference
Colbert
Yeah, OK
Justin
What are you saying?
Colbert
OK let's say we vote a woman into office, she'll just be on the phone all day
Justin
That's sexist
Colbert
She'll just be chatting it up with all her bitches and Ho's
Justin
I dont think woman call their friends bitches and ho's.
Colbert
Plus have you ever seen a woman put on makeup.
Justin
Yeah, so what?
Colbert
Think about how late all those press conferences will start.
Justin
Oh knock it off. First, they have people that do their makeup for them
Colbert
That makes it even worse
Justin
Do I even want to ask
Colbert
That means they'll be demanding their stylists to dye their hair everyday.
Justin
No they wont
Colbert
Everyday they'll have a new perm
Justin
Can we change the subject please?
Colbert
Now remember. Republicans vote today and Democrats vote tomorrow
Justin
That's not true either.
Colbert
Yes it is. Oh and to all the Democrats out there, all your precincts have changed
Justin
I can't wait to here this one.
Colbert
Instead of schools, you will all be voting at the nearest "Live Nude Girls" strip clubs.
Justin
That's where we vote?
Colbert
Yeah!
Justin
Well I guess that wouldnt be to bad if you know, it were true
Colbert
I said nude girls not nude dudes. You'd have a terrible time
Justin
That's not true
Colbert
Why are you so defensive? Is it because the country wont let you
get married?
Justin
Well hopefully all that will start to change after today
Colbert
So you're not denying it
Justin
I'm not gay
Colbert
You claim you want to help them, yet you act ashamed to be one. Did you even vote yet today?
Justin
I sent in me absentee balot
Colbert
Ah, the vote that doesnt count
Justin
What?
Colbert
Every election, after everythings been tallied and they already announce a winner they
claim there going to go into the absentee ballots to see if it makes a change. We never hear the results. Your vote doesnt count and thank god.
Justin
I'm not....., you know we got to go, but is their any other kind of sexist remark or something racist you'd like to add before we go?
Colbert
No I'm good for today
Justin
Goodbye everyone
By: Jeans Pants | at 8:13 AM | |
By: Jeans Pants | Monday, November 06, 2006 at 2:48 PM | |
Before watching my post I would like to say to my brother who is out in Massachusetts that what your about to hear isnt about you. So dont worry.
To everyone else, Hello, this is my Vlog. I pace back and forth a lot. Sorry =0)
By: Jeans Pants | at 2:04 AM | |
By: Jeans Pants | Friday, November 03, 2006 at 10:31 PM | |
By: Jeans Pants | Wednesday, November 01, 2006 at 3:44 PM | |
